The Reckoning - Book Two

Chapter Thirty Six - Daella

I pace back and forth restlessly, waiting for my usual morning visit from Quirin until finally there is a knock at the door and I open it finding Quirin's calm smile greeting me.

"Good morning Daella, how are we feeling today?" He asks walking into the room as I take my usual seat on the edge of the bed.

"Well, I have questions." I answer quickly, trying to organize the thoughts in my head into something coherent.

"Ah, questions, well I am always happy to share my knowledge. Let me first examine you and then you can ask your questions." He smiles before preforming his assessment.

As usual he has nothing to report, no changes to announce and so he retrieves my desk chair and moves it closer to the bed.

"Ask away." He smiles.

"What are mates? Is it only fae? Is it past a certain age? Are they still possible or have they stopped existing? If they were real would someone know right away, as soon as you meet someone or does it take time? Would both people feel the connection or only one? What if it were fae and human, is that possible?" The questions rattle out of my mouth in a hurried stream of nervous energy and he sits patiently waiting for me to stop.

"Well, I can see you have been thinking about this for some time. And although I am a healer, not a philosopher or theologian I will share with you what I know of the subject." He answers before taking a calming breath. "Mates are a bond between two beings, it is not dissimilar to mates in the animal kingdom who will find one partner and mate with them for life. Mates are said to be your perfect match in every way plausible, they are someone you are destined to be with from the moment they are born until the moment they die. There are many myths and ideas around the subjects of mates, as to whether they can exist between races, fae and human, I do not know, my own knowledge of mates has only been between fae, but it is based from learning of mates when I was much younger. In truth it has become something lost over time, many believe it no longer exists, that it was forgotten along with our true nature and way of living. I did know someone who found their mate, and he explained it to me like a recognition of the soul, an indescribable feeling of knowing you have found the person you are meant to spend your life with." He smiles at the memory before turning to me.

"Unfortunately that is all I know myself but there would be many more books on mates in the library if you wanted to study it more." He continues. "May I ask what incited this need for knowledge on the subject matter?"

"I...I didn't know such a thing even existed. I suppose it just caught my interest and I wanted to know more." I answer, not wanting to share my concerns and fears and cause him more worry.

"Ah, well as with most things the library will help. Now is there anything else I can help you with?"

"No." I shake my head with a smile. "Thank you." I add as he stands and I stand with him.

"Very well, I shall see you tomorrow morning." He says before leaving and I stare at the closed door.

I didn't know what I expected to hear when I planned all those questions, maybe reassurance or denial or something that would make me believe Alvaryn and Aeris weren't making a mistake by marrying me.

Instead all I had were more questions, more doubt and wishing I had never even heard the word in the first place.

I don't want to go to training, and not for the usual reason of being forced to spend time around Demwyn, but because all morning all I have been wanting to do is go to the library and find every book about mates.

I couldn't stop thinking about it, more and more questions raced through my thoughts and it was impossible to keep track of all of them.

I needed answers and knowledge not a hulking ass barking orders at me.

We share no greeting as I reach the training yard and he hands me a sword.

I embrace the weight of the pummel in my hand and roll my shoulders to try and ease the tension.

After an onslaught of attacking and blocking I stand breathing hard, sweat clinging to my shirt and neck.

"By the way, there will be another formal event in two days' time. I thought I would give you a heads up." He says breaking our blessed silence with words I did not want to hear.

I stare back at him, gripping my sword a little tighter.

"Of course there is." I grit out, straightening myself and readying my sword.

He sighs, shaking his head. "I don't know why you have to make such a big deal out of it, it's a few hours, not everyone else wants to go to these things but they do their duty and go along."

"Because, I know the real reason why we are being made to go." I return quickly.

"And why is that?"

"So you can pick a wife." I answer smugly and he blinks back. "Wouldn't you rather wait to meet your mate?" I ask, the word now a permanent feature of my mind.

"What do you know about mates?" He asks, his sword twitching in his hand.

"I know they are your match in every way possible, they are fated to be with you from the moment they are born until the moment they die." I answer, repeating Quirin's words from this morning.

"If you know so much, then you would also know that mates are exceptionally rare, even among High Fae." He snaps back, moving closer towards me until he is standing over me. "And who I marry has nothing to do with you." His voice dark and quiet as his green eyes glare down into mine.

"It does when I am being forced to dress up and dance around and pretend like I give a damn!" I snap back quickly.

"No one said you have to pretend to give a damn!" He says, flashing his teeth.

"Tell that to the Mistress! I'm sure she would love to have yet another reason to correct me!" Craning my neck to glare back at him.

"Just do your training." He says after a long silent stand off before he takes a step back and readies his sword.

I shake out my anger, gripping the handle of my sword before raising it.

He strikes quickly, attacking me in quick succession as I block each attempt, our feet shuffling and dancing on the packed dirt.

"You think that I don't want a say in when I marry?" He snaps suddenly inches from my face, sword crossed against mine as he stands over me, my arm straining to hold up against his. "You think that I wouldn't like to have a choice in who I choose to bind my life with instead of being forced to pick from a chosen group?" He snarls. "I have to follow rules like everyone else! I have to do my duty to this Kingdom like everyone else! We don't all get the luxury of falling in love!"

I stare up at him, stuck standing in surprise to hear the honesty in his outburst.

He blinks, like he is coming back to himself and realising what he has just said.

He steps back, lowering his sword and looking at the ground.

"Training is done for today." He says staring at the ground.

"We only just started." I reply, looking up at him.

"Well I said we're done for today." He snaps, glaring at me.

"Fine. I wanted to go to the library anyway." I say stomping over to the weapons rack and setting my sword on the shelf.

I leave him standing with his sword still hanging from his hand and his eyes on the ground.

I had made him snap. I had reached a part of him that for all outward appearances I believed to not exist.

He didn't want to choose.

He didn't want to be forced into a decision he wasn't ready to make.

He was clearly struggling under the confines of the laws that govern all of us, the laws that he enforces, but he couldn't do a damn thing about it.

I didn't know if it made me pity him or relish in the idea of him being forced to do something he didn't want to.

He was King over the largest Kingdom in the world and even he wanted a way out.