what the motherfucking fuck am i doing right now in my crazy ass life?

quick thing

so idk why i'm doing this

but if you suddenly find yourself in a position with someone who's just passed out

here's what you do

first: 

tap their shoulder and shout. if they show any sort of response, leave them be. when they come to, get them medical attention.

if they don't respond, call for help. get 911 (or your region's emergency number) on speaker. give them the information, starting with location. that way if something forces you to hang up at least they know where to dispatch the first responders to. once you've given the location, explain what's happened.

next thing: see if they're breathing. if they are, just try and wait patiently for emergency services. if they're not breathing, check their pulse. put two fingers on the neck pulse point which is right below the jawline. if there is no pulse, begin CPR. (but if there's an AED, use that. most establishments have them, and the AED will walk you through what to do.)

for CPR, position yourself perpendicular to the person's chest. lean over them, with your shoulders directly over their torso, if you're at an angle it won't work. place the ball of one hand on the center of their chest. place your other hand directly on top of the first one, lacing your fingers together. have your elbows locked for compressions, DO NOT bend your arms. your position should look like a triangle. you'll need to press hard enough and fast enough that the heart will pump blood and oxygen through the body. their chest should go down about two inches. you need to try for one hundred compressions per minute, or 30 compressions then check for a pulse. 

when you start counting, the rhythm you should go at is "one and two and" so on, with compressions on the numbers. when you get to double digits you don't need to say and anymore. 

in some cases, people have refrained from performing CPR for fear of breaking the person's ribs or because they're not certified. let me tell you this, in the US at least, there is a law called The Good Samaritan Law. basically it says that if you accidentally injure someone while trying to save their life (example, accidentally breaking their rib(s) while performing CPR), you cannot be prosecuted. and about being certified: if there is someone around who is certified, let them perform the CPR. if it's only you and you're not certified, try anyway. a broken rib is better than dead.

CPR can be tiring. if you start to get worn out, just keep doing your best. also, DO NOT STOP just because "it's not working". the point of CPR is NOT to restart the heart, though if you can, kudos to you. the point of CPR is to keep blood and oxygen pumping throughout the body to keep the person ALIVE until first responders can help them. just because there's no pulse doesn't mean you should stop. if there isn't a pulse, the ONLY thing keeping oxygen and blood pumping through their body is your compressions. if you stop, they are very likely to die, or at least have permanent damage.

and it's always a good idea to get certified for CPR.

also, because some people actually try this, NEVER EVER practice CPR on a PERSON. you could end up SERIOUSLY hurting them.

hope you never have to use this, but it's always good to be prepared.

bye!