Eternally Yours -Chris Motionless/MIW-

breaking down

Xandra's POV

I was cuddled with Chris in the bed and I began to toss and turn a bit because my head was begining to dream of my traumatic past. I imagined Felix punching me over and over . His friends running through me one by one . The scars...the trauma ..it was beginning to be too much.

When I finally awoke from that nightmare. I was teared up and shaking. But I managed to get up without waking Chris..

I went into the bathroom , went in my makeup bag and pulled out my old razor blades that I had hidden and I began to carve into my inner thighs. Knowing I would be able to hide it and nobody would ever know.

After I was done and cleaned myself up , I washed my face and my hands before returning to bed with Chris.

He can't know...he will leave me...he can never know.

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Chris's POV

when I awoke and saw Xandra beside me , sleeping like an angel , I brushed the hair out of her face and kissed her nose gently and she snuggled closer to me..

Today was the day I was going to ask her to be my girlfriend. I planned to surprise her with a tattoo and piercing day. Just like we talked about. But something was bugging me and I couldn't tell what it was.

I had to use the bathroom so I gently and carefully moved away from Xandra , thankfully not waking her. I went to bathroom and turned the shower on. As I waited for it to get warm , I saw something silver hidden by the toilet. I bent down and picked picked it up.

It was a razor blade . And from the looks of it it has fresh blood on it. I immediately froze ..what was this ? Please don't tell me I'm right. Please don't let it be Xandra's.. I can't stand the thought of her being hurt in any way . I will have to bring it up to her later.

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Xandra's POV

I awoken to Chris not being in the bed. And so I got up and went to look for him. I then heard the shower running and I decided to be bold. So I went in the bathroom and I saw Chris's silhouette from behind the glass of the shower .

"Hey Chris ..." I called out and he looked at me through the glass.

"Hey babe..what's up." He didn't seem bothered at all that I was in here while he was showering.

"May I join you ?" I was shocked at myself for asking that. What the hell are you thinking Xandra !!??

"I don't mind at all baby. Come on in..." He said and before I knew it. I was stripping nude and climbed into the shower. The hot water was very comfortable on my skin and Chris pulls me close. My breasts against his chest and his hand on my lower back.

Our eyes locked and we began to lean in. Passionately kissing one another. This moment was tender and sweet to me and I never wanted it to end.

He took the bath sponge that I assume he packed with him and he put some soap on it before pulling me close to him again and began to wash my back. He was very gentle and our eyes never broke contact. I'm sure he did that out of respect so he didn't stare at my body in fear I would push him away. He did it just to make sure I was okay and he didn't push any boundaries..

I was kind of worried that he would look and find the fresh scars on my thighs but he didn't .

I couldn't help myself as I leaned in and kissed him deeply. I wanted him to take me and make me his permanently. I couldn't help it. I felt so strongly for this man and I trusted him with my life. I was finay ready to take the next step with him but I couldn't help but ask myself.

What are we to eachother ???

He dropped the sponge and grilled the back of my hair and pulled it and began leaning marks on my throat . I loved it and I didn't want it to stop but Chris pulls away before anything else could happen. Which made me a bit sad but I got over it. I respect that he most likely wanted to wait. It probably wasn't the right time for him and I was okay with that.

But I really wanted to know.

What am I to him ???

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End of chapter