Strange, how he finds himself in the very same situation again, like had rewound to the start. It’s been a while. And yet…
Minho had dropped Jeongin off earlier that evening, and after much crying, the young boy still refused to let Hyunjin go. Hours later, they were still on the couch, Jeongin’s small fingers wrapped around Hyunjin’s like he could physically stop him from leaving that way.
He could.
Hyunjin hummed a little as the sketchbook in his lap shifted from the angle, as he one-handedly drew in slow, lazy strokes.
“Appa.”
“Mm?”
“Where’s Felix-appa?”
“Working, sweetheart.” He pinched Jeongin’s cheeks between his fingers, squishing, and his son laughed, wriggling away.
“When is he coming home?” Jeongin asked a few minutes later, seemingly innocent.
Hyunjin narrowed his eyes. “Yah! Do you like your other appa better than me or something?”
Jeongin gasped, not answering him for a second as a look of wonder came over his face.
“What?” Hyunjin glanced around, trying to look for whatever distracted the younger. “In-ah?”
“... you said Felix appa is my other appa!” The excitement was so tangible it knocked the breath clean out of Hyunjin’s lungs.
“... you wanted that?” He asked, hesitant.
But Jeongin grinned from ear to ear, fidgeting on the couch with pent-up energy, just barely keeping himself still as he nodded so enthusiastically Hyunjin worried for his head.
“Alright, alright.” Hyunjin scooped the 6 year old into his arms, hearing his muffled giggles against his shoulder. “When he comes home, you can ask him to be your other appa. He’ll be really happy.”
“Really?”
“Really.”
Jeongin settles down, grabbing the throw pillow that fell to the floor. He hugged it to his chest, resting his chin atop the light fabric. “Can we go to the park again?”
Hyunjin’s lips press together. He couldn’t. He really couldn’t, especially not with Jeongin, not if he wanted his new identity to last. But he couldn’t say that to Jeongin. “How about somewhere new? Hm?”
The boy immediately perks up. “Where?”
Fuck. “Uhh…” Hyunjin’s eyes wander around the apartment, settling on an old train ticket. “Surprise?” he offers, and watches Jeongin think.
“.... okay.” His hair’s getting long, falling into his eyes, causing him to blink furiously and shake his head a lot. It makes him look even cuter.
They sit in silence for a while, Hyunjin sketching and Jeongin playing with the uniform wooden blocks spilling all over the table. He’s built a house, then a city, and suddenly everything topples over, the noise making his father look up.
“Appa! It’s time!!!”
“Huh?” He’d almost forgotten. “Oh, you’re right!”
The TV flickers on. It’s not as new as his other one, and static fills the screen for a few seconds, before blond hair and dark eyes become the sole focus.
The microphone glints in his hands, black against the light sweater he’s wearing.
A look in somebody’s eyes
To light up the skies
To open the world and send it reeling
His voice wraps around the syllables with that familiar gentleness. It’s deep, and strong, tone dipping prettily around the second line.
In that moment, everything narrows down to just this room, just Jeongin’s small body settling down next to him, his sketchbook falling from his lap, Felix’s eyes crinkling up around the corners as he continues singing.
It’s a captivation Hyunjin can’t really explain, but it shakes him anew each time, the intensity of it. He can’t tear his eyes away even as the song ends, and a girl comes to stand beside Felix, her delicate hand slipping into his as she talks.
“Hey! I’m Lia, and this is my co-host Felix. Today we want to wish every little boy and every little girl good luck on their upcoming exams! It’s such an exciting time of the year, to see—”
He tunes her out, watching Felix tuck a strand of hair behind his ear, a silver earring catching the light.
Chan’s present, Hyunjin remembers.
The trance breaks when the camera focuses on Lia, her blond highlights making her black hair have an icy glow. Felix is nowhere to be seen, but almost as soon as he disappears, Hyunjin’s phone buzzes with a text.
He ignores it at first, but there’s an insistent second buzz, and something tells him to check.
His eyes widen when he swipes through the notification.
sunshine
can i come over?
Hyunjin glances up at the television where Lia is still talking, and Felix is still out of shot.
please
innie would be happy to see you
He can’t keep the wide grin off his face as the messages get marked read, and then the camera pans over to the blond man, who’s smiling so bright you would’ve thought he’d been gifted the world.
“In-ah, what do you want for dinner?”
The dinner’s cooking on the stove, steam rising as Hyunjin leans over to check if it’s boiling.
He’s a little scatterbrained, going back to chopping the potatoes as soon as he decreases the heat, only to remember to add salt. The smell of cooking meat fills the small studio, and Hyunjin watches with some amusement as Jeongin spins to look at him with excitement.
And then there’s the draining of the water, finding plates from the far-up cabinets of the unfamiliar kitchen, the washing of the dusty cups, and Hyunjin’s so caught up in the preparations that he completely misses the end of the program, not hearing the cheery goodbyes the hosts wish their audience.
Jeongin grabs his father’s sketchbook, settling on the couch to flip through the pages one by one like it’s one of his picture books. His fingers trace over the lines, recognition filling his eyes as he studies every sketch.
It’s what he’s still doing half an hour later, when the front door opens quietly, and someone slips in, hanging up his jacket on the pegs on the wall, shedding his shoes and walking in the direction of the noise.
“Hey Innie.” Felix greets quietly, scooping the boy into his arms as Jeongin barrels into him. “Missed me?”
YOU ARE READING
city of stars
Fanfiction~hyunlix~ There's something almost hypnotic about his voice - it's so deep, dark- but at the same time, there's a softness to it, almost a gentle caress to the words. There's nothing rough about the way he sings, rather, it's soft and reassuring - r...
