The next few months seem to pass in a blur. Jeongin doesn’t keep track, but for the first time in his life, the autumn months don’t drag by.
His father seems happier. He cooks a lot more, and sketches all the time when he’s not at work. He picks Jeongin up from school in a small car that sounds like the engine is coughing every few blocks. Jeongin doesn’t mind, because sometimes Felix is there too, and then they squish into the backseat together, and Jeongin gets to tell him everything he’s done at school, and Felix would praise him, giving him small chocolates when his father isn’t looking.
It’s a lighter time. Jeongin’s uncles visit almost everyday, and Felix’s brother Chan reads him bedtime stories. Uncle Jisung and uncle Minho have cats that run from him and let themselves be chased, fluffy tails in his hands as they narrowly escape. Uncle Changbin sings silly songs and laughs the loudest, pushing more and more food on Jeongin’s plate.
Uncle Seungmin is quieter, and when he comes over Jeongin always cozies up to him, knowing he was safe from the others’ teasing when Seungmin’s arm was around his shoulders and they were working through his homework. Seungmin hums prettily and makes Jeongin laugh. He likes Uncle Seungmin.
The other uncles come less. They’re a little more scary. But it’s alright, because uncle San once threw him up in the air and caught him, and Jeongin’s been waiting for them to visit again.
He’s happy, and Hyunjin smiles more. His mother can’t fathom why his socks are mismatched and why he has glitter in his hair and a skip in his step, but Jeongin’s not going to tell her. She’ll have to figure it out herself. She doesn’t seem like the type to like fun things anyway.
It’s quiet that evening, as the icy flakes start settling over the black city, coating it in a thin layer of fluffy white. Footprints lead from door to door, snow crunching under foot.
Jeongin swings his fathers’ hands widely as he walks, looking between them and giggling like a madman. It’s been a while since they’d be out like this. He couldn’t remember the last time he played in the snow, the last time his father smiled like that.
His attention is occupied by the cold snowflakes hitting his nose, and like every other kid his age, he sticks his tongue out, trying to catch them, taste the snow.
Felix immediately laughs, ruffling his hair, and Hyunjin fusses with his scarf, muttering reprimands spoken in a not-quite scolding tone.
“Does it usually snow this much in December?” Felix asks as they stop near a snow-covered car, and Jeongin starts drawing stars on it.
Hyunjin shrugs. “I don’t know. It hasn’t snowed in years.”
“Really?” Felix seems puzzled. When Jeongin looks up at him, the blond man seems concentrated on something, his cheeks flushed pink from the frost and his eyes shining like the stars Jeongin’s seen in picture books sitting atop a Christmas tree.
Which makes him think…
“Appa, I want a Christmas tree.”
Two pairs of eyes turn to look at him, blinking slowly, identical confusion on his parents’ faces.
“A christmas tree…” Hyunjin glances at Felix.
Jeongin kicks at the snow with his brand new boots while the grownups silently converse with each other.
“Y’know… that’s not a bad idea.” Felix decides eventually, squeezing Jeongin’s mittened hand. “Do you want to go buy some ornaments while your appa gets a tree?”
His head snaps up; he didn’t expect them to agree. “Really?” The excitement is buzzing through him, energy returning in the blink of an eye. He ignores how Felix is biting his lip to keep from cooing.
“Let’s go right now!” Jeongin declares, and startles laughter from Hyunjin, whose hand he’d pulled.
“Woah, Innie. Let’s clean the snow off the car first, yeah? Bokk-ah, can you make him something hot to drink? I’ll be a few minutes.”
And oh my god it’s really happening! Jeongin dances all the way to the front door, much to the amusement of the other two.
The shopping mall is always bustling and busy when Jeongin goes here with his mother. It’s unpleasant, to be lost in the varying shades of black and white, looking for his mother among the crowds that never seem to look down and see him.
It’s not like that with Felix.
Jeongin dims as they get out of the car, looking away as Hyunjin presses a quick kiss to Felix’s cheek before driving off. He expects to be left running after the elder as he does with his mother, because isn’t that how shopping works? But instead Felix takes his hand and leans down to hear him better.
“Where do you want to go first?”
“... i get to decide?”
“Of course, little dove.”
Suddenly, the mall doesn’t seem so scary anymore.
Holding onto Felix’s hand tightly, Jeongin sets off in the direction of the arts and crafts store where he knows Hyunjin buys paper.
Jeongin falls asleep on the ride home. He feels himself being lifted out of the car, and carried into the warmth of the house. His shoes, hat, coat, snow pants all get removed, and yet he still refuses to wake, despite the insistent sounds around him.
The boiling of the kettle. Clinking of his father’s paint jars. Rustling of paper. Soft laughter. Whispers.
“In-ah, are you going to wake for lunch, sweetheart?”
He tries to say no, but his mouth won’t open, and his eyes are still closed, and —
Jeongin sleeps, tucked into his bed, his small fox plushie beside him, door gently shut by his parents.
Long into the night, Hyunjin and Felix sit side by side, working steadily through the art supplies to make ornaments.
The paper stars seem to spring from Felix’s hands, one after another, made of the colored paper Hyunjin’s drying. One after another, garland after garland, they’re all strung up, and even so there’s more.
Hyunjin’s mesmerized a little, watching the younger’s nimble fingers fold the edges round and round, pressing here and there until in his palm sits a small star.
He’s caught staring, and can’t bring himself to be embarrassed, because embarrassment had long since fled his palette of emotions.
There’s no need for embarrassment when he looks up, caught staring, and meets Felix’s amused eyes.
“Here.” The small star is pressed into his hands, and Hyunjin brings it up to the light, examining the origami.
“Where did you learn this?” he asks, curious.
Felix shrugs. “I don’t know. Stars come easy, for some reason.”
There’s a small silence as Hyunjin bites his lip, not knowing how to answer that.
He doesn’t have to, because Felix’s already folding the next one. “You can keep that one.”
The small yellow star sits heavy in Hyunjin’s hand, and this time when he looks down at Felix’s hands, he sees what he’s been looking for.
A soft, soft glow. So slight you’d miss it if you didn’t know what you were looking for. BUt still very much there.
“Bokk-ah.”
“Hmm?” Felix looks up, another star dropping into the pile beside him.
“Just wanted to say your name.”
Another star is pelted at him, and in the wee hours of the morning, Hyunjin saves them in a small box in his dresser. Two small pieces of Felix.
No matter what happens, he will always have this.
YOU ARE READING
city of stars
Fanfiction~hyunlix~ There's something almost hypnotic about his voice - it's so deep, dark- but at the same time, there's a softness to it, almost a gentle caress to the words. There's nothing rough about the way he sings, rather, it's soft and reassuring - r...
