by your side | j.g. x j.w.

8

picking off from where chapter 7 left off but it's been so long we MIGHT have to reread 💔💔 tbh i kinda fell off watching johnnie and jake but their video with sam and colby made me want to write them again lolz

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Once the moment dies, Johnnie retreats to the furthest edge of the couch, opting to rest his head on the arm rather than Jake's shoulder. Jake sighs at this, but pays it no mind otherwise.

Johnnie watches him out of the corner of his eye, until Jake catches onto him.

"There still something on your mind?" He asks softly, not wanting to push. "Yeah, I'm just...I've just kind of been wondering, uh," Johnnie begins, trying to mentally prepare himself for what answer he could be met with for the question he's about to ask.
He recollects himself, before speaking again.

"What did it mean?"

"What did what mean?" Jake asks. "Don't play dumb, just tell me. I- it's kind of been bugging me, and knowing would help me a lot," Johnnie answers.

"Well, Johnnie," Jake begins, "I would be lying if I said it meant nothing."
"That whole night meant something to me. I guess...it was a side of us I'd never seen before. I couldn't keep my eyes off of you, and I didn't know why. I could just tell that I wanted to keep you close. I wanted to hold you, to make you feel better," he pauses for a moment.
"That night meant everything to me. That whole time, you were relaxed in a way I've never seen before. You even ate half of my burger! That whole thing about me wanting to be here for you, to take care of you, I meant every word. I'm sorry if I've made it seem like I didn't mean it at all."

"But, I'm also kind of afraid, to be honest," he adds. "These feelings of wanting to help you have always been here, but something else is happening that's new to me...and I'm just coming out of my relationship with Tara. I hope you understand."

Johnnie nods, finally able to put down the one thing plaguing his mind.

"I want you to be able to live your life as the you that I saw that night, and I want to be the one that helps you become that person," Jake says.

"So...where does that leave us?" Johnnie asks hesitantly. Jake shrugs his shoulders, unsure of what to say. "We don't have to reach a conclusion right away," he says.
"Yeah...take things slow, I like the sound of it," Johnnie agrees. Jake nods, not saying anything.

For the first time in what felt like forever, the two slip into a comfortable silence. There was no more running from it, it was out in the open...and it was somehow the most freeing, yet terrifying thing.

They aren't quite sure when feelings started to change between them, but it probably came from the long nights spent editing together.

In their own little pocket of time and space, they found something else. In the restless nights spent together, sometimes not even talking, just bathing in the presence of one another, using it as their fuel to push through the night, there was more.

It was a sense of intimacy.

A feeling of calm, of closeness, that could be found nowhere else in the universe.

With each time that the other was nudged awake because they had dosed off, and the countless times Jake would leave and re-enter the room with two new mugs of coffee- one black, one so sweet you could almost no longer tell it was coffee- the pair grew closer and closer.

It was only natural.

From the start, Jake saw Johnnie as someone who was more than meets the eye. Despite his outward appearance, he could tell that he had a sensitive soul, one that saw the world for what it was.

Johnnie did not have the luxury of an easy life. Even so, he took the bad hand he was dealt and made something out of it, pushing through and refusing to let go no matter how hard it got. Jake admires that about him, he thinks it's badass.
Johnnie is the strongest person he knows.

Jake always had the desire to protect him, he doesn't know why. He knows that he is more than capable of making it through alone.
Though, maybe that's just it- Johnnie has been through enough on his own.

He wants to be someone who makes it easier to shoulder his pains, someone who Johnnie can feel safe pouring himself out to.

But maybe it wasn't that- maybe it was the simple fact that Jake's heart sank the first time he felt Johnnie's frame, the way he was struck by the immediate realization that something wasn't right.

Regardless of the reasoning, Jake chose to dedicate his time to helping make Johnnie feel better, if only a little bit.
He isn't aware of the impact he's already had on Johnnie.

Jake is his safe space. Any progress he's made recently is thanks to him and his persistence. Johnnie isn't entirely sure he'd even still be here if he hadn't met Jake at the time that he did.

He loves the way he feels around Jake. For the first time in his life, he has someone that doesn't make him feel the need to put up a front around. Jake is the only person he knows that isn't exhausting to be around. If anything, he's like a refreshing breeze.

Even after everything, he looks forward to the future. So long as Jake is in it.

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haiii :3 this chapter feels super short but i also haven't uploaded in forever so i was kind of just pushing myself to get something out to get back into the swing of uploading. once again, thanks for all the positive comments that motivate me to write <3