Comforts Of The Palace {2nd Runner Up- Gem Awards}

For my Beloved

The chaos had settled in; it's been 5 months since that unfortunate day. While everyone got back to their routines slowly and gradually, no one could feel that contentment inside. No one could smile properly. Still, everyone was figuring out how to settle into the new landscape. The administration was updated with a collective set of regents rather than having one king. Bharat, Shatrughan, Mandvi, Urmila, and Shrutkriti were assigned domains of their own, some of them jointly managed, sometimes with the help of the senior queens, Kaushalya and Sumitra. Kaikeyi, even though having the most expertise, was not a part of the associations yet, as there was still a revolt among the citizens. There was revolt in Kaikeyi's subconscious as well. Mentally, this has been the toughest time for her. Kaushalya had to arrange psychologists and special caretakers forcefully to look after her. Everyone feared that guilt would make her do something too brutal with herself. Kaikeyi has been a victim of the mind always. All her life, she had been too strict to not become like her mother, but fate plays and negative manifestations, she became worse than that.

But what had to happen, had to happen. Kaikeyi was burdened with a job people would hate her for, but, in reality, make her the biggest well-wisher of Rama.

The ways of destiny - glorious people have to pay prices. Prices that pierce their hearts and souls, snatching away their loved ones. Siya Ram might become Gods later; people would pray to them for the well-being of their kin, expecting magic. Yet, in Siya Ram's journey of divinity, the sacrifices of their family members would remain unsung. Some might be noticed, but others would disappear in the background. Would Siya Ram want that, though? No. As much as the need for the greater good drives their lives, their hearts break at the sight of loved ones enduring hardships for their benefit. And they endure it all for love.

Kaikeyi was in the practice arena; it was the first time she had stepped out of her room. Her widow outfit wrapped around her as if she wanted to disappear in it. Her dark black eyes, once lined with kohl, now held only dark circles beneath. Her hair was strictly tied and white, as if she wanted to tie herself and not move an inch. For that would bring destruction. Probably, she thought, she was the problem; wherever she goes, she brings destruction. Her father's home and her parents' separation, Dashrath's home and the couple's being childless, now her son Ram's home and the exile. She was the reason.

She still remembers how Dashrath made her feel special, important, and noticed. A young, brave, beautiful princess with high expectations of herself. She worked extra hard to rule out the image assigned to her since birth, thinking she couldn't be imperfect even for a minute. And, god, she succeeded in all those attempts. When Dashrath won her hand in marriage, it was expected because she was more beautiful, bold, and young than his other wives. But this love story took an unexpected turn where it wasn't just the beauty and brains that Dashrath accepted. He accepted the whole of Kaikeyi; he was fond of her. It didn't matter if she missed out on routines, battles, or beautifications. Dashrath's love and Kaushalya/Sumitra's acceptance gave Kaikeyi freedom - freedom to love without conditions. And, when the time came, she loved their sons, especially Ram, unconditionally, without any ulterior motives or apprehensions.

She went to the wall displaying all the famous royal swords. She waved her hand over the many owned by Dashrath, smiled fondly, but not without her heart also breaking. She stopped at the one that was his favorite, the one she brought from Kekaya after searching the entire week to find a perfect one - the one he loved to duet with her.

She took it in her own hands, caressing it, feeling like she was holding her beloved's hand. She wanted to do something with it, something for him, as a way to pay her own homage. She knew he would perhaps forgive her, as he always did. He knew she was nothing but still a naive girl to him.

This time she spoke,

"You know Arya, you can't stay mad at me for long. You never could. You understand that I'm still the naive little girl who is trying so hard to not make mistakes, but fails."