Her Five Brothers

Chapter 21 - Hair problems

Aspen: TW

The next evening, i was sat on my bathroom counter attempting to viscously apply mascara to my eyelashes. Josh, keeping to his word, was taking me to a catch up dinner. Apparently, Alexander had given him a recommendation to an Italian place a few streets over and booked a table at 7pm. It's now 6 and i'm finishing off the final touches on my makeup before i try and straighten my hair.

I don't know how to use straighteners.

Attempting to run them through my hair, all they do is pull on loose strands and give me a headache. Continuously, I attempt to section my hair and run them through, but to no avail. Eventually, i slammed my head onto the counter in frustration.

"Princess?" Axel calls, poking his head around my bedroom door staring mindlessly at my predicament.

"That's me." I groan, picking my head off the cold worktop to look over at him.

"Um, what's happening?" Life.

"I don't know how to use my straighteners." I admit, face flaming red with embarrassment as i refuse to make it eye contact.

"I can help if you'd like? I may have watched some youtube videos before you came." He explains with a sheepish smile. "You look beautiful by the way."

"Thank you and i'd love that."

Not like i was surprised at Axel's affection, but it felt strange. Not even two weeks ago, he hated my guts, torn me limb from limb and spat on my lifeless form. Now, he's complimenting me, taking care of me and showing me the upmost support. It's a jarring change however i'm not going to argue against it.

He led me to my vanity, plugging the straighteners into the wall and standing behind me with a comb and clip.

"Are you excited?" He asks, parting my hair and beginning to straighten the ends.

I nod, realising my mistake as i feel a hot sensation at the bottom of my neck.

Axel releases the straighteners grip, apologising profusely whilst I didn't even flinch.

"Axel." I stop him with a soft tone as he frantically waves his free hand in a praying motion. He pauses slightly, puppy-eyeing me through my vanity mirror. "You're going to make me late."

His eyes widen with guilt as he splits my hair with ease, perfecting the thin strands into a beautiful harmony. "I think it's only fair we have a girl talk whilst a do your hair. Don't think of me as your brother, i'm your girl friend"

I pull a concerned look through my eyelashes. Girl talk? As in boys, makeup etc. No. Not with Axel the raging lunatic who is currently carrying a burning device. "Okay... what do you want to talk about?"

"Ace" he states bluntly, a sharp undertone to his girly facade.

I've never really weighed out my feelings about Ace thoroughly. I've dated a couple girls, never a man. I wonder if my so called 'attraction' to Ace was genuine shyness and nerves. All feelings out in the open, he's beautiful and has an amazing personality, but I wouldn't plan my future with him. Like mum always said, if you truly liked someone, no matter how premature the relationship, you would be able to picture a future with them, Not once have i ever imagined my wedding to a man, only ever to a woman.

Sometimes I wonder if it's because I haven't found the right man. I couldn't be a lesbian. Bi, yes, because then i'd still marry a man and society would treat us like any heterosexual couple. Labelling myself as a lesbian leads to conflict and awkwardness when trying to make mew girl friends, especially those who believe every gay woman is in love with them.

For now, Ace is a good friend. Just until i overcome this complication. A battle between what I want, and what society expects me to be.

"He's cool." I reply with little evidence to my inner turmoil. I could speak to Josh tonight, maybe he's made similar revelations.

"Just cool?" Axel raises his thick eyebrows, causing deep wrinkles to appear on his forehead. I cannot knock his effort at 'girl talk'.

"He's funny, but not really my type at all." Axel smirks, dipping his chin to try and hide his gleeful expression from me. "I don't want a fuck boy, i want to be able to imagine a settled, cosy life with someone?"

Axel tuts, finishing the last strand of my hair and retrieving my smart casual outfit of dull green cargos and a tight fit, long sleeved white top, he kisses me gently on the head. "I'm glad that i don't have to murder Ace."

I laugh, knowing that Axel is not joking. There is a sharp undertone in his voice and his eyes narrow ever so slightly. It's almost invisible. Only those with incredible intelligence (or ex abusive step-dads) would be able to tell the slight change. However, his expression relaxes quicker than it changed. I'm assuming in the mafia, emotion regulation needs to be top priority.

Axel must struggle.

Mafia's to me mean sex trafficking, murdering innocent and being the worst possible people. That would mean i'd be terrified, but i'm not. Despite the crippling reality, I can't believe my brother's have the capability to commit that sort of heinous crime. I don't feel that. Sure, I can see the look in their eyes, the guns that lurk in their back pockets, i feel the power they exert.

But...

I also saw the way they reacted when i was subdued to similar behaviour. The guilt. Anger. Heartbreak. These are not men that could destroy someone's world without a valid reason. I won't believe it.

"All done." Axel explains, placing a gentle kiss on my head. "You look beautiful."

I smile at him through the mirror, my cheeks tinting pink. He's right, i look better. Scars and badges can be seen through my blue backless dress, but that's okay. Insecurity has haunted me all my life, and it still knocks at the back of my mind now. However, I need to take a deep breath and realise that nothing i think is going to change the way I look.

However, I was smart. The dress is long sleeved to hide my self harm. Just because they know about the smoking and abuse, doesn't mean i have to show them my true, damaged self. Some dark secrets need to stay hidden.

FLASHBACK: TW⚠️

"STUPID UGLY SLUT" He screams, spitting in my face. "YOU WILL NEVER BE LOVED WHORE!"

I whimper, curling in on myself on the worn out mattress. The smell of the stains makes me gag, but i cannot bear to lift my head and look him in the eyes.

"Come here, my little beauty." He snarls.

FLASHBACK OVER

Snapping breaks me out of my reverie and i jump at how close Axel's face is to mine.

"You okay, Princess?" He asks, tilting his head slightly with furred eyebrows. "You couldn't hear me for a good five minutes there, i'm pretty sure Josh is here."

Nodding, i stand up, straightening out my dress and allowing Axel to run a comb through my hair once again. "Let's get going."

By the time we are downstairs, Josh is already stood in the foyer standing shoulder to shoulder with Alexander, whose cheeks are flaming red. Elijah, Asher and Lorenzo stand slightly off to the side, whispering, shaking hands and handing each other money whilst staring at the love birds.

Strange.

"Woah." Lorenzo breathes, looking up at me. "Don't you look cute, Bubs." He winks.

His lack of subtlety forces the attention to me as Elijah rushes to help me put my short silver heels on as i sit on the last step.

"Gorgeous, love." Asher gushes, snapping a quick picture at my embarrassed face.

"Stop, you're embarrassing me." I laugh, feeling more confident as they truly believe their words. Nobody is drawing attention to the thick purple scars on my legs and back. Or the badges the stretch along my ribs and poke out under my dress.

"They're right, Aspen. You look great."

Somehow Alexander's words have more of an impact on me than I could've imagined. He speaks lightly, but every word has meaning and authority. He speaks like a true Mafia Boss.

"Hey, kid." Josh steps forward, smiling at me. "You ready to go?"