Her Five Brothers

Chapter 12 - Comfort

Aspen: TW

I groan, wincing as I flip over to my side and waking up from my peaceful sleep. It takes a few seconds to come back to reality but when I do, I'm greeted with a killer headache. Lovely. My eyes dart to my balcony doors and I realise that it's probably late at night, judging by the sky.

Quietly, I roll out of bed, checking over the bandages Elijah had woke me up to change a few hours ago. He was really sweet, making sure I wasn't hurting too much and giving me some pain killers. He didn't ask me any questions, only asking for permission to touch certain areas and making sure that I wasn't uncomfortable. It sounded crazy to me, having somebody ask for them to touch me, even if he was helping me and it wasn't sexual. Adam never asked, he told. You couldn't say no. With Elijah, I felt that if I did say no, he would listen. Maybe he would stop too. Elijah's touches weren't roaming or rough, they weren't scary or painful. They were gentle, soft, kept at a respectable level. His hands only met the cuts and bruises on my skin that needed his attention.

And that thought brought tears to my eyes. So, when he left, I curled up in ball and cried myself to sleep. Because I never knew such gentleness after my mother, such care. It made my heart warm.

Deciding I'm thirsty, I head out my room and into the kitchen. I'm still wary of being caught, subconsciously checking past doorways, flinching at every sound. However, I feel like these boys wouldn't hurt me. I just had to be cautious. Adam was showered me with love and care, and he snapped. It would be much worse if these boys snapped.

Rubbing the sleep from my eyes, I slowly open the kitchen door. I walk in quietly and head for the sink, grabbing a glass on my way. To my surprise, Axel is slumped over the kitchen table. Shouldn't he be in bed? He looks uncomfortable and his back will probably hurt tomorrow. I walk over slowly, tip toeing to his side.

My heart stops when I realise he's not moving. It looks like he's barely breathing. He looks limp. Almost lifeless.

I drop my glass, allowing it to smash over the tiles. I grab his shoulders and roughly shaking him. He doesn't budge. Panic rushes through my and I grab another glass and fill it with cold water. In a second, the liquid is poured over his head and he's shooting up from his chair.

He looks around aggressively, swivelling until his eyes meet my pale face. I let out a massive sigh of relief. I thought he was gone, he looked almost like mum.

"Princess? Is everything okay?" He asks, a much less threatening tone in his voice than the past days.

I rub my hands nervously together. "I thought you were dead." I mutter out, cheeks flaming as I realise how stupid that actually sounded.

He throws me a confused look, switching his gaze between me and his previous place at the table. A look of understanding washes over his face and he nods in understanding. "I'm okay, just sleeping." He looks down to the floor, noticing the broken glass. He seems to want to ask me something but is hesitant. "Can I pick you up and set you on the table? There's glass all over the floor and I don't want your feet to bleed."

"A bit of blood is nothing." I scoff, unintentionally. My eyes widen at my own words. Axel opens and closes his mouth like a fish, unable to form any sort of words. "Yes," I say hesitantly, "you can pick me up."

He nods in understanding and slowly reaches for me, avoiding all areas of pain. He sets me gently on the table and grabs a dust pan and brush.

"Oh, I can do that!"

"It's okay, Asp. I've got it." He sends me a small smile, something I never expected to see.

After a few minutes, my mouth got the best of me.

"You aren't being nice because you pity me, right?"

He sighs, putting down his equipment and looking at me in the eyes. "No. What happened to you was awful but I know pity doesn't help anything. I should've been a better brother from the start and I decided that before we found out about the abuse. I'm going to be better for you, Aspen. If you are willing to give me one last chance." He seems to notice my reluctance. "I'm not expecting forgiveness, I haven't earned it. I'm just hoping that I can have a chance to earn the honour of being your brother."

I smile widely at him, showing all my teeth. "I'd like that." You aren't supposed to be getting attached. "Can I ask you a question?"

"You just did, Princess." He jokes, sending me a big wink. He laughs at my playful groan. "Yes, of course you can."

"Why were you a bitch to me?" If he notices my language, he doesn't seem to care.

"There's one thing you should never doubt," he softly places his hand on top on mine, "all of those awful things I said to you, were not right. They weren't about you, they were about me. They were words that I direct to myself and I took it out on you, that's unacceptable and it won't happen again."

I nod, knowing his twin would probably kill him if it did. "That doesn't answer my question." I state, gaining confidence.

"No excuse or reason will ever be good enough to justify my actions. I won't allow you to think that my actions were okay because I had a reason."

I go to speak but he checks his watch and his eyes bulge out. "We better get you to bed, it's already three am."

He helps me off of the table and I thank him. We slowly make our way up the stairs, him behind me to support me. We eventually make it to my room and I decided I don't want to be alone tonight.

"Will you stay in my room tonight?" I ask nervously.

He smiles sadly at me, as if knowing why I was asking. "Yes, I'll grab a blanket and sleep on the sofa."

He heads down to his room to grab a blanket, but I stop him. "You don't have to, you'd be really uncomfortable."

"That's alright, it's not too bad."

"No," I stress, feeling guilty at the thought he'd feel discomfort because of me, "sleep in my bed. It's big enough."

His eyebrows knit together, almost as if he was unsure. "Are you comfortable with that? I don't mind sleeping in the sofa, it's pretty nice anyway."

I take a deep breath in, "Yes, I'm sure."

I climb into bed and he walks round, slipping under the covers. He keeps his distance, staying as close to the edge as possible.

I wrap my hand around his, letting him know that I am comfortable with touch. Not a lot of it, certainly not all the time. But right now, I want to be held, to be comforted by my older brother.

And that's exactly what he did.