Her Five Brothers

Chapter 3 - FIVE?????

Aspen: TW

"FIVE!" I screech, shooting from my chair and looking down on Josh, who looks mildly amused.

"Yeah kid, isn't that great?" He says joyfully while I look at him, wondering how many working brain cells he actually has.

"No! If they are all fully biological siblings, that means that they are all older. Mother and father haven't been with each other for ages, especially if the poor man died a decade ago. And if I did have step-siblings, they'd be ten or over, which is almost as bad." I panic, gripping my hair as I pace. Men. If he's old enough to be my guardian, he's a man. An adult. And who could turn out just like Adam.

"Kid?" I see Josh stand up hurriedly from the corner of my eye.

"You didn't even mention sister's or step-mother's. Oh my god! Am I the ONLY girl?" My breathing increases and my palms begin to sweat. This is not good at all. I'll be outnumbered. Who knows what they're like? You can't escape me, Penny. I stop dead still. They could be worse than Adam. Bigger, stronger, faster. I won't trust them, I can't. I'd rather just know that they are monsters than love them and allow them to hurt me.

"Aspen." A strong voice commands and I feel cold hands grabbing mine. "You're going to be okay, breathe. I won't let anything happen to you, you can trust me."

My head flicks up and I snatch my hands away from his. "You don't know that!" I snap before apologising to him. He's been nothing but helpful, he doesn't deserve my anger.

"It's okay, kid, you'll get through this. Let's sit down." He redirects us back to the chairs, being careful not to touch me.

"I'm sorry." I place my shaking hands underneath my legs.

He shakes his head, dirty blonde strands falling in front of his eyes. "You have nothing to apologise for, your reaction is valid and understandable. You need time to process everything that you've been told and that's okay." I smile at him. "As for what you said, they are all brothers and your father never had anymore children or a new wife."

"So they are all older?" I pick my nail bed nervously.

"Yes." He confirms softly. "But that doesn't mean that you are unsafe or uncared for. They love you already. Your oldest brother was almost crying down the phone."

Almost? The disrespect.

I laugh. "Well, that's a start." I joke, wanting to lighten the tension.

"You'll have him crying like a baby soon, don't you worry." We laugh.

For the next hour, Josh tells me a lot of things. Dad was Italian and he married mum, who was British. However, they lived in LA for a long time. When they divorced, dad took the boys to New York while mum and I moved back to England. Josh tells me I was likely to be around two at the time, that's what he heard oldest brother say while talking to someone else during their phone call.

He also informed me that they have a private jet and will be flying here immediately. Although, they probably won't arrive till morning. Josh said I could stay with my friends, with a substitute foster family or with him. I got a little upset thinking about my old friends, but it was my fault and there's no going back now.

In the end, I chose Josh. The idea of meeting a new set of people was very unappealing and my social battery had run out. I just wanted sleep and I felt semi-comfortable with Josh.

Josh's place was only round the corner and I was settled in my room by 11pm. He went to the kitchen to make an early lunch, seeing as I hadn't had any breakfast. Not like I was allowed eat anyway.

The spare room was a light grey colour with a beanbag and lots of pillows scattered on the bed. His house was a nice, two story and he lived alone. It was peaceful and very clean, the very opposite to my old home. I laid on the bed for a while, collecting my thoughts.

"Aspen, lunch!" I hear Josh call and I mumble a profanity before standing up and stretching off.

I slowly make my way downstairs, gritting my teeth at the worsening pain shooting through my ribs. They weren't healing, none of my bruises were. Some knife wounds we're closing up but not many and even my self-harm seemed to be taking longer to scab over.

This is not good.

I step into the kitchen and almost gip at the smell of fresh pizza. Don't get me wrong, it smells and looks gorgeous. I just cringe at the thought of even trying to stomach it. For Josh's sake, I sit opposite him while nibbling at my slice as he makes small talk.

After a while, he's finished and I'm on my first slice. Suddenly, he sighs. "You don't have to eat it, Kid."

My eyes go wide, I don't want him to think I'm ungrateful. "But I-"

"You've been through a lot today, it's normal to lose your appetite in these sort of situations." He assures me, not looking angry at all. Wow, that's new.

"I'm not being ungrateful, Josh, it's lovely." I blurt out, picking at my hang nails.

"I know, it's alright. You don't have to worry, okay? I can save it for later, if you want?" He asks, taking our plates away.

I smile painfully. "That would be perfect, thank you." He nods, washing his dish. "Um, Josh?"

"Yeah, kid?"

"Don't you need to go back to work?"

"Trying to get rid of me already, huh? Was my cooking that bad?" He jokes, letting out a small laugh.

"no, of course not." I laugh, "I just thought some other kids might need you." I sip the water he put in front of me.

"I've explained your situation to my boss, she agrees that it's best for me to stay with you. Anyway, there's lots of other people to do my job." He dries the plate, placing it back in the cupboard.

"Oh, that makes sense." I nod.

Josh places my disregarded pizza in the microwave and sits back in his chair opposite me, drinking his apple juice. "We need to go to your house later, to collect your things."

I freeze, panicking about stepping in that house again. The memories that could hit me as I walk through the door. It's just too much.

"Or you could write me a list and you can wait in the car." He offers, sensing my discomfort. He probably presumes it's because Adam is dead. But no, I feel safer now that he is dead.

I was about to agree until I remember the early hours of this morning, crying in the bathroom with a bottle of pills in my hand, a knock on the door and spilling them everywhere. He can't see that, he'll ask questions and become suspicious of me. Nobody can know. Tell no one, Penny, I'll kill you.

"NO!" I shout, a wild look in my eye. I see him sat in shock and I'm quick to apologise. "I'm sorry, I just want to go in alone."

"We can do that." He agrees, looking at me suspiciously and I can practically see the cogs turning in his head. "Put your shoes on."

Once we arrive at my house after an awkward drive, I rush inside. The living room floor is still painted with blood and beer bottles, the kitchen still full of dishes. I hurriedly scrub everything clean, hoping Josh won't mind if I'm a little longer. Deciding I want to get this done as quick as possible, I head straight to my room and pick up my little amount of clothes and shove them in my back pack.

I go to the bathroom too, picking up all the pills and shoving them inside the bottle. The bottle goes to the bottom of my bag. I then grab my toothbrush before duck my under the sink. Opening the cupboard, I see my torn makeup bag which consists of bloody razors, more pills, cigarettes and concealer. You would think after abuse and self harm I would have the common sense to buy bandages. I clearly don't.

I rush out the door and throw myself into the car.

"That everything?" He asks.

"Yeah."