A Red Lighter

Caleb: Of Telenovelas and Bob Ross

I slowly peeled my eyes open, the white ceiling was just a little too bright and I wanted to close my eyes and go back to sleep. But the dull ache in the back of my head wouldn't let me so I trailed my eyes down the white walls of the room I was in. And I kept going till they landed on a person curled into a ball. That was strange, I don't remember what happened, I remember dad coming home.

Pain flared up over every inch of my body. It felt like my chest and back were on fire, my throat felt as if I swallowed glass and my legs felt like lead as I swung my feet over the edge of the bed, willing blood to flow down to them.

"Hello" I tried to say firmly so the person would wake up but it came out small, it did get the person to stir a little bit and I could see his face now "Connor,"

We talked for a little bit, I felt safe with Connor; even though if there was one thing I learned it was not to trust anyone. I rubbed at my chest because it felt like bugs were trying to crawl through the skin and I wanted nothing more than to scratch that feeling away. But the thought of scratching anything made me want to vomit, so I just rubbed little circles trying to find a happy medium.

"So Caleb on a scale of one to ten how much pain are you in" I jumped when I heard Connor's mom speak, her question was easy and I wanted to scream ten, hell even that wasn't enough. But I wanted to go home, so I could wipe my blood off the kitchen floor and sit across the couch watching TV with dad. And even though it's completely fucked up I want to be home.

At least at home I knew the rules, talk when not being talked to you get hit, argue you get hit, laugh, cry, scream, say no, get hit, get hit, get hit. It wasn't that hard to figure out, if I followed the rules and did what dad asked and didn't complain everything was fine. It's been that way since I was six and over the years I learned, you bend over and you shut up, you're fine, but if you fight or argue, if you say no you end up, well you end up here. So even though I could feel the steel wool scraping away layer after layer of skin, I still had to follow the rules, don't complain it only makes it worse.

"Uhmm my pain levels a two" I lied "I'm just a little itchy"

"Well mister" my heartbeat picked up, was she going to call my bluff "You have one high pain tolerance... anyone in your situation would put you at about eight"

"Ha, ha, ha" my laugh was forced and it just stretched the skin that was trying to grow back "well, I'm fine... really... can I go home now"

"No" my heart dropped with her words "Caleb, we need you to stay here for a couple of days to make sure there's no infection" I nodded understanding I really didn't want to end up in the hospital twice in one week. "So" oh great we still weren't done "want to tell me who hurt you"

Well that was a hard question, who the hell hasn't hurt me "N-No one, hurt- hurt me....It- it was my fault" technically it was true, whatever I did to piss off dad landed me in here

"Sweetie" her voice was filled with pity "Nobody can scrub three layers of skin off, their own backs" well goddammit this girl was not making my job easy

"Not what I meant" I snapped my head pounding more furiously "I was riding my bike down a steep hill and fell ass over tea kettle, ended up doing a number on my back and chest"

"Sure" her voice was cold and accusing but she left me alone, so I guess I got what I wanted.

I was in the hospital for three weeks my wounds healing up nice and slow. The nurses were nice enough but the day time TV sucked and the only part of my day I actually looked forward to, was when Connor came after school. We would just sit together and talk or play cards; of course he couldn't beat my sorry ass at poker if he sold his soul.