A Red Lighter

Connor: Someone to Care

"I just want someone to care"

How the hell do you respond to that? Can you even respond to that? Caleb was hurt anyone could see that. This kid was dealt the crappiest hand and nobody tried to change that for him.

I could feel the tears prickling at the back of my eyes, I wanted to hug him and tell him it was okay. I never had a brother, but I always wanted one and Caleb needed someone to save him.

I watched as Caleb took off in the other direction, maybe he didn't want to be saved. I wanted to run after him but my feet were like lead and for some reason I just couldn't do it. So I did what I thought was best and went home. I know Caleb needed me but, but I didn't know where he was headed.

I should've gone after him, should've ran away with him, and somehow convinced him that I care, that my parents care. But how, how do you tell someone that knows nothing but pain and neglect that someone cared. I don't know but that shouldn't have stopped me from going.

I pulled into the parking lot of my house, and finally all the regret that I've been holding was released. I punched the steering wheel, yelling and berating myself because when Caleb needed me most I couldn't help. When his eyes screamed to be saved I couldn't move, when he ran away in pain I just watched.

Mom and dad were sitting at the kitchen table when I walked in, tears still tracking down my face. And in an instant she was at my side pulling me into a bone crushing hug. And I hugged her back because, I needed this right now. I needed someone to love me.

"What's wrong baby" her voice seemed hurt, that's when it hit me

"Because when he needed me most I couldn't be there.... I ran away like a little bitch" I didn't care that my mother hated swears "I came here, to be coddled instead of run after him."

"Honey, there's nothing you could've done" I huffed at her remark "no listen to me Connor, you can't help Caleb because he refuses to admit he needs help"

"NO" I screamed running up to my room "that shouldn't stop us from helping... he's a kid, mom a fucking kid"

I flopped down on my bed, turning my phone on; I needed to know if Caleb was okay. What the hell am I thinking of course he's not okay, but I still had to check?

Connor: r u okay???

Caleb: yeah.... Sorry about that,

Connor: about what

Caleb: bringing you down, I saw the tears in your eyes... and I'm really sorry I shouldn't have brought it up... I'll deal like I always do.... Please don't worry I'll be fine

Connor: okay... I'm here if you need... for anything just call

I knew that Caleb wasn't going to reply, all of our conversations end the same way. Caleb wouldn't respond and that was the end of that. Even with the gutter ball that sat in the pit of my stomach I was emotionally exhausted. And fell a sleep hard and fast.

I dreamt of a small framed boy with dark hair that swung down in front of his eyes. Freckles danced across his nose, his skin was pale and the white t-shirt he wore slowly started to seep red. I watched as the scared boy turned his face towards the sky and wailed his mouth wide and throat rippling from some sort of sound. But all I could hear was.... was nothing. I watched as the boy fell to his knees, tears falling from his face. Forcefully he ripped the use to be white shirt off and a small whimper got caught in my throat. Slowly his skin was disappearing, being replaced with blood and exposed flesh. I wanted to help, I needed to help. I bolted towards him. And just before I got to him something stopped me, a wall a glass wall.

I crouched down to the boy's level, and banged on the glass, he was still crying, screaming, and when he looked up tears pouring down his face.

"Caleb?"

I was pulled out of the horrible dream by the ringing of my cell. It danced across the dresser and I sleepily wiped the rancid dream from my eyes. The light my cell produced was harsh and I had to give it a few seconds before I could read the name. Caleb 6 missed call.

Six how in the hell did I miss six calls, I knew that I was tried but my cell was loud and it was pretty obvious Caleb needed me now, how did I manage to fail him once again?

I was just about to punch is phone number in when his name flashed across his screen again.

"Hello"

"Connor..." Caleb's voice was nothing above a whisper "please... help me, the coach is trying to kill my dad"

"What?" I launched out of bed waking dad and mom