A Red Lighter

Caleb: Is That So

I walked right past the kitchen with all the adults; I just didn't feel like talking. Not that I ever did. The bathroom was quiet and peaceful just what I needed, though I did feel better since my little forest rampage. I never felt angrier and even though some part of my brain whispered it was dad's fault not my. The other side screamed that it was all my fault, mom, dad, coach everyone's death was on my head. I was a murderer, I killed all those people and when I looked up into the mirror I noticed something I never noticed before. I didn't like what I saw.

It was over as fast as it started, I didn't know why but the urge to just punch the mirror was too strong. So I did, I put my fist through the glass and cut my knuckles all to hell. My breathing labored and as I stood staring at the bloody mess that use to be my hand. Then it hit me, this wasn't my house. I couldn't lie and say that dad got drunk and chucked something and broke the glass. No this wasn't even my foster family's house, this, this was Connor's house.

I unlocked the door because I trusted Eden, she fixed me up so many times and I kind of owe my life to the women. She entered slowly stepping over the shattered glass, taking my hand gently.

"Oh" her voice was coloured with concern

"I'm sorry" I whispered not moving or flinching as she pulled out the first aid kit and pulled out the tweezers "I-I didn't like what I saw"

"Please honey" she said plucking pieces of glass from my knuckles "don't be sorry, it's only a mirror we can have that replaced"

I gave her a small smile and watched intensively as she fixed my hand wrapping a bandage around it. I walked back to my house with the Newberry's they didn't say anything or ask questions, which was a good thing because I would've answered them. Olivia gave me a small hug before I went to bed and I didn't fight or flinch I just accepted it. And to my surprise I slept, like actually slept, no nightmares or faces or hurtful words.

The next morning the Jake woke me up early telling that I had an appointment with a shrink. I didn't want to go hell if I never had to leave the house I wouldn't. But I've realized there's no point in arguing anymore. I was going to go see the shrink I might as well make the Newberry's lives easier in the process.

"So" the shrink said as our session ended her tightly wrapped bun just ever so slightly disturbed by the pencil she constantly pulled from her ear "what do you think?"

I held the red lighter Connor gave me bouncing and turning it on my knee a faint smile sneaking across my lips.

"I think I'll survive"

"Is that so" she asked returning my smile

"Yea"