Their untold secrets

Ch. 2 (I'm forever, Sorry.)

The ginger came home after a long day of work to red camellias, and a letter at his doorstep.

He had a gut feeling this wouldn't be good. He hadn't seen the brunette all day and he knew the brunette would never miss a day of work, especially when there was an important meeting.

So he walked inside, put his hat and coat on the hanger, dropped his keys in the bowl, put the flowers in a vase, then sat down to read the letter.

It read...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My Dearest Chuuya,

I suppose an apology would be in order,

"I'm sorry for leaving, and I'm sorry for not
telling you earlier."

An apology is what you deserve and
probably what you expect as well.

But- Chuuya, you should have learned not to
expected anything, from me
a long time ago.

Especially not, apologies.

So no, you will not find me apologizing
in this letter.

There's as will nothing I feel sorry about.

Leaving you behind did pain me and I
have truly wish things: could have been
different,

I love you, Chuuya,
always have and I always will.

You made me feel alive when I
was with you. That is something
only you could do.

My dearest chuuya, I will forever
be yours... there is nothing that
will change that fact

After all, when have I lied to you

But you chose your path and I chose
mine: And perhaps this is for the best.

Regardless, I'll continue to wait for you.

Yours Forever,
Dazai Osamu

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The ginger brought the paper up to his forehead, as he crunched it in his hands, tearing up.

"Damn.. you dazai, what am I supposed to do now? What am I without you?" he whispered out as tears fell down his cheeks.

" you... can't just leave me. Can't just leave me behind. You are the whole reason why I'm here. So what am I supposed to do now...?" he started to cry harder, as the emotions he wish he could convey to the brunette came crashing down upon him.

The ginger stood up as he was going to put the letter in a safe place, before realizing there was more written on the back.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chuuya...

I know questions are rolling around in your head right now. About how I couldn't have taken you with me or I couldn't have said goodbye in person.

But...chuuya, do you remember that man I introduced to you at the bar? Odasaku? He's gone... he's officially gone, and I couldn't do anything to save him.

But chibi I can't lose you too. You are way too important and precious to me to be lost over something petty or my own stupidity.

You mean more to me than you could ever know. More to me than I ever realized. You're my light in the darkness I have roamed in for so long. The only thing that made my life a little brighter.

All those times, you came bursting into my apartment and finding me on the brink of death.... I know it hurts... and I'm so sorry for putting you through that.

Hah! I said, I wasn't gonna apologize. In the other letter I wrote. But here I am, Apologizing.

You deserve so much more than I could ever give you chuuya. I need you to do your best to continue without me and get over me.

I did nothing but hurt you over the years we've known each other. And we both know that you deserve so much more than a person like me.

I wish I could convey my feelings to you in person. But you are the only person that could ever stop me from leaving.

The only person that could call me or change my mind in less than a couple seconds.

Looking at your ginger hair and your ocean blue eyes, they mesmerize me every time. Your beauty is unmatched. Nothing can compare to how beautiful you are inside and out.

I'm supposed to go dark for two years before I can come back and talk to people... but chibi I will never forget about you... you will always be the one person that can stop me from going entirely bonkers, or the one person that I know that will have my back, no matter what happens.

You and I are...

Good night chuuya,
I hope you're doing better than I

~~~~~~~~~

The letter written was not supposed to be seen by the ginger. But it gave him closure, gave them both closure.

The Ginger was shocked and astonished that the brunette could be so sincere and emotion full.

He had no idea what went through the brunettes mine when he wrote this. But this helped. It helped him understand what was going on with the brunette, and why he wanted to leave. 

Odasaku one of the only people he trusted other than the ginger himself. The only person he felt safe with, and was able to talk about anything and everything.

One of the only people that didn't look at him with fear in their eyes. He was something special. Special not only to the Burnett, but the ginger too.

Although the ginger had not met him a lot in  person, he had come to know him through the Burnett's rambles.

He had heard he was a considerate and compassionate person. He looked after all those who needed care and comfort.

Chuuya knew how close to two of them were, and how heartbreaking this must've been for the brunette

But he couldn't bring himself to forgive the brunette. Not after everything they've been through together. He couldn't just leave him behind. He couldn't do that- it wasn't fair to the ginger.

Dazai had known this. But didn't find any other option. The ginger would've wanted to come with him but dazai knows how much chuuya hates the good guys.

' well, I guess this is farewell Chuuya...'
The figure said, as he sat looking into the ginger apartment. Before turning around and leaving, tears on the verge of spilling over.... but never falling.

.