Detective Garfield

Miss me?

The city is silent.  The streets are empty of both traffic and pedestrians, giving off an eerie sense of serenity.  Break into a store, vandalize public property; you could do pretty much anything and get away with it.  Jon still drives 10 miles per hour under the speed limit.

"That Charlie McCarthy sure was an odd fellow.  I don't think I've ever seen a talking dummy before. At least one that didn't have a persons hand inside of it." Jon mutters.  "How exactly does a dummy break up with his ventroliquist anyway? Seems like they need each other."

Rustling noises are the only response from the passenger seat.

"At least he seemed nice and his request didn't seem too crazy.  Normally these disputes are more straightforward to figure out though; a business partner embezzles money or a spouse cheats on their significant other. Charlie didn't really get into why they split."

A soft crunching sound continues from Jon's right side.

"And couldn't he just check out Edgar's house himself? I mean, he knows the address and has obviously been there before. They were partners for almost 50 years for goodness sake! It couldn't have gone that bad, could it?". Jon began to get frustrated thinking about the situation. He just couldn't quite figure out. "Do you have anything to add, or are you just going to eat the whole way there?".

A soft crashing noise is heard from the back seat, as a pizza box is tossed onto it, followed by the psst of a soda can opening.

"I'm thinking, you dolt.  You should try it sometime." Garfield took a swig of his soda and let out a long sigh.  "There's something more to this case, if it was as simple as Charlie made it out to seem, he wouldn't have needed our help in the first place."

Garfield was used to Jon's poor insight into the dark side of people; he was too simple and sweet to understand the terrible things people could do to eachother. Luckily, this simple sweetness also allowed Jon to be his perfect sidekick.  Jon was one of the few people who could be around Garfield for more than a few hours without being offended by his constant sass.

"Oh, that makes sense." Jon replied. "Well, I guess we will find out from Edgar now, his house is right up the street."

The car pulled up to an opulant Victorian-style mansion.  Edgar had certainly done well for himself from his years performing with Charlie. Jon turned off the ignition, got out of the car, grabbed a small footstool from the trunk, and walked around to the passenger seat. He opened the door and put the footstool down to help Garfield out.

"Time to make the donuts." Garfield muttered as he emerged from the car.

They walked up to the front door and rang the doorbell. The elaborate multi-tone song emitted from the ringer is so loud, it can be heard from outside. Even so, no one appears to be coming to answer. Jon waits a few seconds then rings it again.  No response.

"Hmmm" mutters Garfield. "Did Charlie give us a phone number for Edgar?".

"No" replied Jon.  "Umm, I guess I forgot to ask. Sorry."

Garfield turned and stared at Jon, completely emotionless. His expression was so flat, it was impossible to tell if he was frustrated, angry, dissapointed, or any other emotion. In reality, he was hungry.

"Go take a look through that window. See if anyone's home if you can. Otherwise I want to get some dessert."

Jon nodded and walked over to the window just off the side of the front porch. He leaned in close to the window and started looking for any signs of movement. Almost immediately, he jumped back.

His voice was quavering. "Garfield, I think we should call the police. There appears to be signs of a domestic disturbance."

"Bah, come here and try opening the door for me you big softie." said Garfield.  "Police involvement means no case, no case means no money, no money means no dinner, and I require an excellent dinner tonight". Garfield swirled his tail and lit a cigerette as he waited for Jon to regain his composure and return to pick the lock.

"Ok, ok. I get it." Jon walked back to the door and rumaged through his pockets for his lockpick.  After a few seconds, Garfield rolled his eyes and walked up to the door.  He turned the knob and pressed. Surprisingly it opened.

"Oh. Well that was easy. Sometimes you are so smart Garfield!" Jon said excitedly.

"If you want to appear smarter, hang around someone stupider." Garfield muttered as he entered the foyer.

The furniture and decorations had to cost a fortune and gave off more than just a whiff of elegance.  Unfortunately for Mr. Edgar Bergen, this elegance was torn apart, broken and shattered.  Wooden chairs were toppled over and splintered, picture frames hung cock-eyed with cracked glass. The floor was covered with broken decorations. Something terrible had happened here.

Garfield and Jon explored the room, looking for any signs of blood.  Luckily, they can find none. 

"Maybe just a break-in. Someone else not too happy with Edgar?" asked Jon.

They continue further into the house. Upon turning a corner Garfield gasps and stops dead in his tracks. He has found the dining room, which is ransacked similiarly to the foyer.  Along with this though, knives and silverware are stuck into the walls and ceiling.  The gigantic dining table is flipped over and cracked in several places; it seems impossible as it is made of solid wood and must weigh hundreds of pounds.  Every lightbulb on the chandelier has exploded, and the chain it hangs from has been tied into a knot.  At the end of the room, behind where the head of the table would be, is a huge painting of Edgar and Charlie performing at an event; both are smiling and look regal in their fancy tuxedos.  Deep clawmarks have torn the painting and scratched out Charlie almost completely. Two butcher knives are shoved deep into Edgars' eyes, so deep they go into the wall almost to the hilt.  Perhaps most disturbing though, is the final defacement. Written in congealed blood on Edgar's body are two simple words. "Miss me?"

A bead of sweat drips from Jon Arbuckle's forhead.  "This is bad. I don't know what to say. What do you even call this?". Jon's becoming panicked from the situation, realizing that whatever happened was no simple break-in. Jon turns from the painting to look for Garfield for answers.

"A tragedy" Garfield says matter-of-factly. He turns from the wall he was facing next to a flipped over dessert tray. Licking some remaining frosting from his lips, he stares at Jon with a newfound intensity and vigor to solve this case and punish the perpetrator of this terrible crime.

"This cake would have been delicious."