Heart, Body & Soul (MxM)

Chapter Eleven

'But tell me, wouldn't you do the same? You're single for ...forever,' Ivan asks, brushing his palm over Riyaan's bare calf.

Riyaan has found that Sundays are his favourite by far ever since he moved here. Because Sundays are when Ivan likes to stay in bed after sex or reading a book most of the mornings, and sometimes in the evening. Ivan is not always practical; he thought wrong.

'Do what?' He is feeling lost in the conversation with the way Ivan is touching him.

'Say you and your special someone are no longer together — for whatever reason, but you still love and care for each other, and you are just.. taking time off. Then he says, he is enjoying life and so should you...wouldn't you have your fair share of fun?'

A special someone, just how special his ex is to him, Riyaan wonders.

'As in, have sex and enjoy other people's intimate company?'

It will only be sex, that's what they agreed to. And this is turning out just fine, in fact, as exactly as Ivan said and he agreed to. Yet. Yet. Yet somewhere he gets a little gloom-ridden when things are going exactly as their arrangement. Gods, he really should have been more experienced because Ivan doesn't seem to have that problem.

'Mm-hmm.'

'I don't know. I don't think so.'

Amongst the sea of problems as he navigated his life, his sexual interest wasn't always in the front seat. He wasn't actively looking for dating. Until Ivan talks with him, it's as if he came alive. But if not Ivan, he would probably go back to how things were.

'Liar. People have needs.'

'What needs though? I think not all people.'

'Is that why you wanted to do Tinder?'

'Mm. About that... that was Kris, okay? It's different for me, I think. Or I like to think.' He pauses, and when Ivan seems to be listening contently, he adds, 'My heart, body and soul work in unison. I cannot want someone with my body, and my soul and heart are not content at the same time.'

For a moment, Ivan keeps looking at him, hands still caressing his calf. He almost thought Ivan was going to laugh. 'You are playing a dangerous game. I should pull you out.'

He never thought of hiding his growing affection for Ivan. And Ivan isn't dumb. If Ivan is as aware as Riyaan believes, he must already know that for Riyaan, it is more than just fun times.

'Already too involved.'

'I keep warning you.' Ivan hovers over him, arms landing on either side of his body. He wishes Ivan placed his palms instead of his arms, by which way he is not as close to making the mistake of "accidentally" kissing him.

'I keep ignoring you.' Riyaan says, holding eye contact.

'I won't be there to hold you when you fall.'

'I am taking you with me.' He touches Ivan's face, wanting to forget all their agreement and kiss him. But that 'no kisses' rule keeps making an appearance — even when he is about to daydream of kissing him.

'Already trying to conspire against me?'

He should think of something witty to say to make Ivan laugh. Something witty to distract himself from this beautiful man who is hovering over him, naked. Instead, Riyaan tries to bring Ivan's face closer to him, while he tries to raise his head a little too. He gazes at his lips because that's his target. But Ivan is quick to stop him, clasping his hands.

'I should punish you,' Ivan says, eyes glimmering.

'Punish me.' For what, trying to give you a taste of my affection?