Heart, Body & Soul (MxM)

Chapter Twenty-Nine

Life goes on, they say.

But does it?

As the year enters its last month, the chilly weather makes it harder for Riyaan to keep a physically productive time. He hates waking up in the morning because nothing has happened since the day before after he slept. He is bored and annoyed all the time.

The work from home also means not meeting many people, not that he enjoyed the people at his work to want to go back, but it would probably have made things a little easier.

One evening, he even calls Nitin. Just to check up on him, but truly, really, all he wants is to know if Ivan truly called him.

But then he realises Ivan wouldn't do that.

Earlier when he was at the orphanage, December was a time for dreaming about new things for the new year. Whether that means reading more books at the library, or just the thought of growing up, one year closer to getting freedom. Living the real life — and now he did. He did them all. He fell in love, and got his heart broken. What he didn't expect was to get his soul broken — no that wasn't the plan at all.

The only way he isn't falling to his despair is because Ivan sends messages to him almost everyday. To ask about his projects, life, and sometimes randomly tells about himself. Riyaan doesn't ask. He will not chase him. But he treats it as a faint hope — hope that someday, one day, anyday, it will be okay.

Torn between needing to be with Ivan and wanting to ignore him, he ends up with a routine. He only responds to Ivan's message at a time when he knows Ivan has gone to sleep. Or when he is busy at his work. Why? Because...

But the feeling today he has is more restless. A little hopeless. Because today is the day Ivan is supposed to go on that trip with his friends. And his ex, or is it still an ex?

This is how he ends up watching a horror movie for distraction. But he also keeps his phone on his lap. Ivan hasn't called him since yesterday, and he assumes he is busy, and ashamed that he waits so eagerly but never calls himself.

He almost falls asleep and when he opens his eyes he finds Ivan calling. By the time he takes his call, it has stopped ringing. But he dials back. Immediately.

'Hi,' Ivan's calm voice comes through. 'I was calling.'

'Yeah, I saw.'

'What, were you napping?'

He can imagine the way Ivan says that, a slight crease between the brows.

'No,' Riyaan says.

'What do you do being up so late at night?' For a moment, he doesn't understand what Ivan is talking about but he gathers, it's about his late night replies.

'I wasn't napping. I'm up for the project at night.'

'Why not during the day?'

'I work during the day.'

'Alright.'

Alright? Is that all he has to say? Why does he call him if he has nothing to say.

'Are you travelling today?'

'Yes. In a bit. You want to come? I can pick you up. However, you'll have to replace me on the flight.'

'Thanks for your sacrifice but no.'

'Will I see you at Preet's engagement next week?'

'I almost forgot about that...I don't think I can make it.'

'You...cannot be that busy.'

'Actually, I am. I was always rambling about the fact that this year will suck my soul out of my body.'