Intertwist (Boy's Love)

CHAPTER 9

"Sander?"

Agad akong bumangon mula sa pagkakahiga. I ran my hands through my hair. I was all sweaty. Maybe it was because I dreamed of Gray calling for me but I can't see him. It's all dark.

Nang lumabas ako sa tent, I then remembered Gray.

"Gray?" Pagtawag ko. Naglakad lakad ako sa labas pero wala talaga akong Gray na nakita. Pumunta rin ako sa daan kung saan naka park yung kotse ko pero wala talaga. Bakit ganito? What the fuck is this feeling. Hindi ko mapigilang kabahan. I don't like what I'm feeling right now.

I went back to the tent again but still, I saw no one. Pumasok ulit ako sa tent ko para kunin yung phone ko. I then dialed his number pero walang sumasagot.

"Where the hell are you Gray?!" I shouted. I can't explain the nervousness that I'm feeling right now. It was like something bad will happen.

I packed our things immediately. I was removing the tent when a piece of paper caught my attention. I suddenly felt the urge to pick it up. It was folded two times. I then slowly opened it.

My eyes widened when I saw what's inside. It was hard to read the letters that was written in the paper. I could feel my hands trembling as I continued reading what's inside.

Dear Sander,

Hey there. If you're reading this I'm probably gone. This letter is maybe, uhm, a goodbye letter? I'm going now somewhere. Somewhere far I guess? But don't worry. That place is maybe just fine. Pero wag ka nang sumunod ha. Magagalit talaga ako sayo hahaha. Sander, I want to tell you that meeting you was the best thing that happened in my life. You gave me happiness. You made me laugh. Those are the emotions that I thought I've already forgotten. Thank you for always being there for me. Thank you for bringing me to places that I've never been before. Thank you for talking to someone like me. I'm sorry Sander for not telling you. I know I was selfish.

Sander please... don't cry. I will always watch over you. Even if I can't touch you or even if we can't be together, I will always care for you. You are the only person that I cherish the most. I want you to keep on living. Maintain that laughter of yours. Maintain that smile of yours. And.. about that dream of mine don't feel obligated to grant it okay? Because truly speaking, you already granted it. I experienced happiness because of you before going to that path, to this path which is something that I'm really grateful with. So find someone, someone who can understand you, someone who can stay by your side longer not like me. Someone who can make you more happy. Take care of yourself okay?

Don't forget to.. eat, to bath haha. You can even.. go to different places with someone. Enjoy your life Sander. You are like a blessing to me you know? If not because of you, I will not last this long. Because of you, I was able to be myself again and I was able to dream again which is something that I already gave up years ago. I'm sorry Sander. Thank you for all the memories. I will cherish and I will always remember all the moments that I spent with you. Sander, I'm sorry for not telling you but.. I'm also feeling something whenever I'm with you. Those are what they call butterflies I guess? I'm so sorry... I didn't mean to feel that way. I'm so sorry for liking you but still thank you. Thank you Sander.

Goodbye

This is not true.

"fuck." I hissed while trying to hold back my tears.

Agad akong umalis at sumakay sa sasakyan ko. I know Gray just...maybe went home. Right? Umuwi lang siya.

When I arrived ay agad akong lumabas at pumasok sa bahay nila. Pumunta ako sa kusina, sa sala at sa kwarto niya.. pero wala akong nakita.