𝚒𝚗𝚌𝚎𝚗𝚍𝚘, Hyunjin

33.

November 2023

I was wearing my new autistic noise mufflers. They were bright yellow and humongous on my head. Hyunjin and I laughed about how I looked as we went out. They were way bigger than my normal headphones but these specifically blocked out the overwhelming sound. I could hear Hyunjin if he spoke right by my ear but all the background noises were nearly non-existent.

The aquarium was a lot bigger than I expected it to be. Even the size of the car park was overwhelmingly big. Coming on a random November day was a fantastic idea - it wasn't busy enough to scare me and make me hesitate to go in. I was always fascinated by things like sea life or just animals in general.

My preferred subject was always history - There was just something so accomplished about learning about the world we lived in and the history that built up the world as it is today. The study of history has always been fascinating to me. The concept of exploring past events, cultures, and people's ways of life is truly intriguing. From ancient civilizations to modern-day societies, there is always something to learn and discover. The stories and experiences of those who came before us provide valuable lessons and insights that can inform our present and shape our future. All in all, history is a rich and complex subject that never fails to captivate me.

However, the animals were cool too. I like learning about new animals and the weird quirks they have to survive. Sometimes you learn things which interest you then you learn about dolphins and you realise that beautiful creatures aren't so beautiful anymore. Dolphins were the criminals of the sea so I didn't like them as much anymore and preferred sharks way more.

I had previously paid for our entry into the aquarium so we walked in with the tickets on our phones.

"Should we get snacks first or?" Hyunjin asked as the first corridor we came to led to the cafeteria or the start of the tour.

"We can if you are hungry yeobo," I told him and he shook his head.

We had left quite early in the morning, but Hyunjin came prepared and wore some comfortable clothes. He was in some grey shorts which just went over his knees and a baggy shirt. He was wearing his cap and mask to cover his face - it would've been mysterious but I knew what he looked like under there and it all belonged to me. He had a small film camera wrapped around his neck with coloured film in his bag. It was a small black bag that wrapped around his shoulder and sat gently on his back, like a bum bag.

"Okay, let's start the tour then, I wonder what's first," I said to him, excited to start our day together.

Hyunjin smiled under his mask and then held out his hand. I grabbed it happily - the surprising quietness of the whole aquarium had made me comfortable enough to enjoy the sensation of walking hand in hand with the person I liked. I was slightly hyperaware of our surroundings. I wasn't sure Hyunjin knew but when I first got with him, I checked out the LGBTQ+ views in Korea. It wasn't something I ever thought to look up but since I was a part of that group of people, I had to be careful.

I had already experienced my fair share of discrimination - not that I went out much. The stares from people and their piercing eyes accompanied by their whispered comments were like pins and needles, pricking at my skin. A seed of doubt had been planted in my mind, wondering what was wrong with me. Walking down Korean streets had been a challenge since I got here, it was hard to ignore but I did get used to it. Turns out being a foreigner earns you stares from mostly elders; being autistic is an immediate turn-and-stare situation and being gay wasn't as normal in this society.

I didn't want to let go of Hyunjin's hand but I also didn't want to subject him to the awful stares and the offending comments whispered under people's breath. I doubted I would hear them, yet I was cursed to acknowledge everything around me just so I could avoid it. I was always aware of people so I could avoid them and risk not talking to them or them touching me.