Evocation

(CLEAN) Chapter 15- Walls

*This is the cleaner version of Chapter 15. You do not need to read them both.*

Two weeks have gone by and they've been calm. I've gotten to know the new crew a little better each day. They're not super fond of me (given the circumstances), but they've started to let down their guards. I've been able to sit, talk, laugh, and live my life around these people. They're all hard working and stay out of trouble, which makes my job easier.

Captain Bradley, however, has been pretty elusive. Every time I attempt to speak with him, he has a reason to slip out of the room. When I have been able to talk to him, he keeps our conversations short and to the point. I know practically nothing about the man and it's driving me bonkers.

The man who is driving me the most nuts, however, is Lorcan. He's either holed away in the helm or his "bedbroom closet", as Fenix and Daegan have been playfully calling it. Lorcan sat near us during meal times for the first few days, but then starting bringing food back to his room to eat alone. I've attempted to talk to him about his isolation, but he tells me to stay out of his business. I try inviting him to sit with us, but he tells me he doesn't need to. I try to get him involved in little activities or songs, and he huffs and stomps away. I've tried asking him about where the Skull Gem is, but he keeps telling me to watch the waters and he'll let us know when we get close.

I often go to bed feeling heartbroken over him. It sounds ridiculous to be torn up over a man who has been, at worst, insidious and, at best, irritating me. But I had trusted Lorcan a lot in the past. At one point, he was the one person who I trusted the most in the world. I didn't have to think about what he was doing or why. I let him live his life and I knew whatever he chose to do would be for the best of our crew. I don't understand his intentions or motives anymore, and it terrifies me.

Going to bed isn't all bad, though. Hadrien is always warm and cozy in my bed. We don't cuddle beyond our legs touching if we roll over, and sometimes his body heat makes me feel too warm, but having his comforting presence makes me feel at home in a way I haven't since my father died.

Dean always comes and stretches before we sleep, and I always enjoy the show. Of course then I'm super horny, but Fenix and Daegan sure aren't complaining about my increased libido. We've tried to be a little sneakier with where we fuck, but I don't think the people who've caught us mind seeing. Pirates are known for drinking and fucking and shit. I'm just living up to the name.

My leg is feeling much better. I still limp everywhere I go and stairs take me longer than I'd like, but I'm able to move around independently. My skin is returning to a healthy color and the marks on my body fade slowly. Aside from Lorcan, I am feeling confident in all aspects of my life.

I purchased Arlo a guitar at that wood shop back in Parmenia, so he's been playing again. The new crew hasn't hesitated jumping in on singing shanties and dancing during their down time, and I love the way their voices sound; thunderous and powerful together.

This morning, Lorcan announced that we'd be stopping and diving for the first time today. The mood of the crew has shifted as we all remember our purpose and what comes at the end of this trip. Everyone has been a little antsy and I've been distraught that the ease of these past two weeks are going to come crumbling down. My friendship with Hadrien has never been better. Dean and Arlo respect me more than ever. The sex with Fenix and Daegan is mind blowing, and all my crew is fed, working hard, and singing again. It's been a dream. But today, the search for the Skull Gem officially begins. And reality that I will not come out of this alive sets back in.

I shake my limbs, trying to get out of my head. Staying silent and letting my brain turn stormy is what lead to me being a monster. I'm going to pretend like each day is the best day of my life, because it can't be if I don't at least try.