Magic

Antidote for a Single Heart ꒰♡꒱

I kissed this boy named Todd, he wasn't anything especially special.

He was just a boy

I was looking for him, I just wanted a boy

He didn't make me feel anything.

His shoulder length hair was crowded with knots and wasn't neatly brushed.

I didn't mind

I just wanted a boy

Any.

But,

He didn't make me feel anything

I received a little blush, felt the wetness of his pink lips, purple reaching my own orangey red.

But, besides that, he left, I left

And I felt nothing

I even felt worse.

Empty.

Frustrated

Angry

Exaggerated

I was lonely

That was why

I was searching

Looking for that one

Just to prove to the actual boy, that I liked him

Tom

I feel tears sweeping down my stomach, reaching my toes and curling around my pelvis.

My back is arched and I'm stuck in an uncomfortable position

I didn't stop there

I vanished the feeling, gulped down the thoughts, listened to loud music, kissed ugly boys. maybe that would fill my empty heart but only Taylor filled the void.

But, even she didn't hear my call.

I was loosing track of time, losing myself in men, there was Jerry, Clyde, Roger, Thomas, Gary, and Paul.

All men that meant nothing to me and manged to ruin everything for me.

I heard Samuel scream my name in the night, I didn't feel his tounge against my earlobe.

I listened to Oliver's plead but his arms didn't reach me.

Anthony smiled but it didn't mirror my own.

Kyle said my name sweetly but all I felt was empty

A
Cry
From
Elton
John

Woke me up

And I heard my heart swoon

I was lost

Under a bed, on top of the sheets

In the dark, on the morning light, shining through the curtains, screaming on my face.

I heard the call

But, did I listen?

There was hope.
Finally

But it was like, I didn't want it

I wanted the hunt, the chase, but lost myself in that, instead of wanting the prize

I settled for less, cared less and less, stylized nothing and left the house as I was made with curly, matted hair, with dry lips, smooth from a recent smushy lip.

I cried

In my sleep

But woke up with no stains.

I lost myself