I managed to get an appointment with my OB on August 17th, just a few hours before our Anaheim concert. I didn't have to be at the arena until later so thankfully I didn't need to make up some lie to get me out of soundcheck.
"You not have anyone with you, Demi?" I shook my head as I followed Dr Ray into her office.
"No" I kept my reply simple as I took a seat, handing her the urine sample I was instructed to do.
"Lovely. I'll get this tested before we get started" I nodded as I relaxed back into the chair. I glanced around the room and took note of the different posters all over the walls, they were covered in so much advice for pregnant women. I started to feel a little overwhelmed. My hand moved to rest on my stomach that I lightly caressed, suddenly very conflicted with my feelings. "So, that's all fine, and you are pregnant. Congratulations" my lips twitched into a tiny smile as Dr Ray took a seat. "I can perform an ultrasound today, if you'd like that?"
"Yeah, I-I'm on tour currently and I won't be back until the end of September. I kind of want to know that everything's okay" she nodded and flashed me a light smile.
"We can do the ultrasound first then, and then we can get the rest of the boring stuff out of the way" I nodded my agreement. "It's unlikely I'll see anything on an abdominal scan so would it be ok for me to do a scan vaginally?"
"Yeah, that's fine."
"If you want to take your pants off and take a seat, we'll get started. There's a sheet on the bed so you can cover yourself" I nodded as I pushed myself to stand. I felt that familiar butterfly feeling starting up all over again. I removed my pants, relaxed back on the bed and covered myself with the sheet provided. "You ready, Demi?"
"Erm, yeah" I swallowed the lump from my throat. The insertion of the probe was a little uncomfortable but once I saw the tiny dot on the screen, my heart melted and tears instantly blurred my vision. I forgot about how uncomfortable I felt. "Is-Is that the baby?"
"Yep. You're measuring 7 weeks and 3 days. Can you see this little flicker here?" she pointed at the screen and I nodded once I saw the flicker, once I'd managed to rid the tears blurring my vision. "That's your baby's heart" I bit my lip in an attempt to hold in my sobs. "You okay, Honey?"
"It-It's just hit that I'm actually pregnant" Dr Ray softly laughed as she continued her measurements. She pressed a few buttons until a gentle rhythmic sort of galloping thump filled the room. Tears soaked my cheeks.
"I'll print you out a fews copies" I nodded as Dr Ray removed the probe, but the frozen image of my baby remained on the screen. I couldn't take my eyes off them.
"Is-Is there any way we can do a paternity test?"
"Of course" she softly smiled at me. "We can do a non-invasive test that involves taking a blood sample from yourself and the potential fathers, however it can be quite expensive as it's a rather new procedure" I nodded as I moved off the bed and started to get dressed.
"I don't care about the price. I just need to know in the safest way possible."
"We won't be able to perform the test until after 12 weeks unfortunately" I nodded my understanding. "We can get that sorted if you still want it around that time" I knew that I would. I need to know who this baby's father is. I can't string Joe along until I give birth, and it isn't fair on Odell not to know until then. I'd tell him now if I wasn't so scared of what his reaction will be.
I saw my family on August 19th, the day before my birthday as we have a concert in Portland that evening. All day I debated telling them about the pregnancy, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. I can't handle telling them that I don't know who the father is. It was difficult hiding the fact I felt nauseous all day but I thankfully managed to stop myself throwing up whilst in their company. In the evening, I celebrated with friends and the rest of the Future Now tour crew at a bowling and amusements complex in LA. I had so much fun that I briefly forgot about the pregnancy and it wasn't until I climbed into bed on my tour bus that it hit. I had a copy of the ultrasound saved to my phone and I instantly smiled as I clicked onto it.
