Christmas was indeed magical. Odell, his Mom, my parents and sisters all came over on Christmas Eve to spend the night. I didn't need to try very hard to get Odell to join us in our tradition of wearing matching pyjamas. I think he did it for Iris, but regardless, I'll take it as a win. Heather never once complained about it either and slotted perfectly into my family. It truly felt like we were all a proper family.
Iris definitely didn't understand what was happening all day but it was nice to keep that dream of Santa alive. As much as I don't want her to grow up, I can't wait to continue the magic of Christmas with her. Iris loved the attention that she received all day and crawled around the living room from person to person all whilst giggling to herself. She eventually grew tired of that game and settled in Odell's arms as he sat on the couch, everyone full from dinner and watching Home Alone. I kept finding myself admiring Odell and thinking about the future. I don't know what I want anymore. I'm struggling to ignore and forget how much I'm head over heels in love with Odell.
I celebrated the New Year at home with my family, Gui and friends. Odell flew to Las Vegas to bring it in with some of his mates. I forced myself to stay off his social media, not wanting to see anything or anyone he was spending time with. It's really starting to hurt whenever I see him photographed with some random woman.
I flew to Bora Bora on January 4th. I was terrified of how Iris would be during the flight but she was a dream. She slept near enough the entire flight or was otherwise entertained by some toys I'd brought with us or was content just having cuddles with me or Matthew. It didn't take much to keep her satisfied thank god.
Even though we live in Los Angeles, this is the first time Iris is actually seeing a beach. Iris loves baths and even though it took a bit for her to adjust to the temperature of the ocean, she eventually loved splashing around in it.
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"Shall we call daddy, Baby Girl?" I softly questioned Iris as I put a fresh diaper on after her bath.
"A dada dada" I froze, mid fastening her diaper. A smile tugged onto my lips and tears quickly filled my eyes. I didn't expect that to leave her lips. She's been babbling so much more recently but that was still so unexpected.
"Yeah dada. You want to say hi to daddy?" I lifted Iris onto my lap and held her so she was relaxed back against my chest as I dialled Odell on FaceTime. He answered quickly and instantly smiled at his daughter on his phone screen.
"Hi Princess" Iris squealed and reached out for the phone that I had to keep a tight grip on so she didn't pull it from my hand and ultimately drop it on the floor. "Are you having a fun vacation, Beautiful? I miss you" my heart tugged in my chest as I softly kissed the back of Iris' head. I had debated inviting Odell on vacation but due to my selfish need to get away from everything for a bit, I didn't.
