Always

Chapter 18

I wake up with bright lights shining over me. It was another flashback from when I got beat up. "Where am I?" I say groggy. A man's voice is echoing in my ears. "You're in the hospital." It feels like it's on repeat. My eyes hurt from the light.

My eyes finally adjust and I look around. It's deke sitting there. Before I could say anything the doctor walks in. "Hello Isabelle I'm doctor manning, I had to pull your records from another hospital because I didn't know anything about you. Seems like you were put into the hospital before because you got beat up." He starts out by saying. I could feel my face heat up and I look over at deke. Why did the doctor have to say all of that. "We did an MRI to make sure there wasn't any brain bleeds that came back negative. So we did some more tests. It seems like you're a couple weeks pregnant. Congratulations you two." The doctor says and walks out. I'm pregnant? I can't even think straight. Then a nurse walks in. "You're good to go just make sure you're eating right and set up an appointment with us for a few weeks so we can check on the baby." She says while handing me the discharge paperwork.

I can't even think straight. I'm pregnant. With jacks baby. How? We haven't had sex in 5 months. That one night when he wasn't fully drunk we had sex. It was one night. And now I'm pregnant. What do I do? Deke must've grabbed the paperwork from her because she was already gone by the time I came back to reality. I grab the paperwork from him and sign it. I get up and start walking out of the hospital. How did I even get here? Deke wasn't far behind me. "I had to drive you here. I can take you home." He says. I didn't respond just got into his truck with him. I lean my head back and fall asleep.

I wake up in my bed. Wondering what happened. It was just a dream that I was pregnant. Thank god. I grab my phone from the nightstand and notice the hospital bracelet on my wrist. It wasn't a dream. I really am pregnant. I run to the bathroom and get sick. Will this ever stop. Knock knock. I hear coming from my door. Who could that be? Ugh I don't want to see anyone right now. I swing the door open and the sun is bright too bright. Finally I see the face. "I just wanted to check on you after last night?" Deke says. I wave him to come in so I can shut the door. I can't take the sun in my eyes right now. "I'm fine." I say. Trying not to throw up again.

"I'm guessing you didn't know you were pregnant?" He asks me. No I didn't know. Maybe things would've been different with jack and I if I did know. Maybe he would've gotten sober for the baby. Maybe we could've had the life we dreamed about from the beginning. Maybe it would've made him drink more. "No" was the only thing I responded with. I go to grab my ibuprofen to get rid of this headache. "You can't take that. It can hurt the baby. Here I have some Tylenol." He hands me two pills and I set them down. I don't know what this guy is giving me. I barely know him. Do I even want this baby? I ask myself. "Well I just dropped some soup off for you. I'll let you be. See you later Bell." He says to me and walks out the door. 'Bell?' I curl up into a ball and cry until I can't cry anymore. I must've fallen back asleep again.

When I wake up it's 2pm. I decided to get in contact with my old boss since it was a work from home job and remote. I could probably just work there again. He told me I could have my old job back and to start Monday aka tomorrow. So now I need to go get a computer. I reheat the soup that deke brought me and go out to buy a new computer. When I get home my car is smoking. Over heating really ? The last thing I need right now. I pop the hood and it blasts me with all of its smoke. I start coughing.

I don't know anything about cars but I know it shouldn't be smoking like this. I check the water in it to make sure this some there. It's dry. Great. "Hey bell. What's you do to your car?" Deke says. He must've just gotten home from work. "I'm not sure. There's no antifreeze in it though. Is there anyway you could give me a ride to get some? I'll give you gas money." I tell him. I don't want to keep asking this man for things. I feel like a teenage girl all over again. A damsel in distress and I'm not. "I got some in my truck. One second." He comes back a couple minutes later and pours it into my car. He starts it up and it's fine. "Thank you." I tell him. "It's no problem. But if it was empty you probably have a leak somewhere." Now I really feel like a damsel in distress. "Where would I go to get it fixed?" I asked him. "Well the shop here in town burnt down but there's one right outside of town. I can always work on it if you want me to?" Why is this man so nice to me. "I can pay you if you do. I would rather that than to pay a tow truck to take it to a shop." I say. "Okay I'll get right on it." He runs off to I assume to grab his tools. I head back inside to set up my new computer. Do I trust this guy to work on my car? No. Do I have any other choice with the money I have right now? No.

After a few hours I walk outside to make sure deke is doing alright. He has his shirt off and holy. He has such defined abs. He's tanned. He sweating. He's glistening in the sun. I must've been staring for too long because he catches me and smiles. I get embarrassed and look down. I know my face is red. "I'm almost done with it. There was a leak but it should be fine now. Just have to add more antifreeze now." Which he does. And it starts up perfectly good without over heating. "How much do I owe you?" I ask him. He looks up at me. And pauses. "I don't have much but I can always pay you the rest later." I say. I don't want him to think I'm using him. "Let me take you out to dinner?" What? He wants to take me out. I'm pregnant with somebody else's kid. And I'm not ready for another relationship. "Um. I just. It's nothing wrong with you. I just don't want anything right now." I tell him nervously.

"I understand that. But just as friends let me take you out to dinner?" He asks. There's nothing wrong with two friends going out to dinner right? "Okay." I say. "Tomorrow night I'll pick you up at 7, don't worry I already got your address!" He says as he's walking away smiling. I go back inside my apartment I start my new job tomorrow and then have dinner at 7. Nothing to be worried about. I go to bed because it's late now or at least I try to. I lay there in the darkness letting my thoughts take over. I'll dial up his number ring ring ring ring. Went to voicemail. He must be drunk again. To that I fall asleep knowing I made the right decision.

The next day.
It was my first day back at work and it wasn't too bad. It felt good to be making money again. I'm showering now because I have two hours until deke comes by to get me. I do a simple makeup look and decide to wear a  black dress that wraps around my neck and has cut outs on the sides where my hips are. It goes down to my ankles. It's cute and elegant. I match it with red heels and red lipstick. I decide to curl my hair and by the time I finish everything it's already 6:55. Knock knock.

I open the door "you're early" I say to him. "I couldn't wait any longer." He says handing me a bouquet of white roses. My favorite. They smell so good. It takes me back to when Jack would buy me them all the time and send them to me when he was at school because he missed me so much.

"Thank you. Shall we go?" I say. "We shall." He responds which puts a smile on my face. Stop smiling Isabelle it's not a date. You're pregnant and there's jack. You love jack. We head off to our date. He takes me to a nice restaurant, I'm happy I decided to wear a dress or else I wouldn't fit in here. It's pretty fancy for not being a date. "I'm sorry, I could take you somewhere else if you'd like" he said. Did I say that aloud? I ask myself. "You said that out loud too." He laughs. My face turns a bright red color. We carry on with our date asking each other questions. He grew up in Nebraska but moved her after his parents passed. He's 26 years old. No kids no wife. He likes to watch football and workout. Which explains his muscles and abs. He's a really nice guy. At the end of the night he drops me off at my apartment and gives me a goodnight before he heads off to his own. I don't bother getting undressed I just curl up in bed and fall asleep.