HIS DUCHESS • TOMMY SHELBY

18. the other woman

[18]
"I'm on borrowed love and time."

THEY SAY THAT the poets and the greats come to places like these to write about love stories, — the countryside. From Jane Austen to Emily Browning. But like every story, fairytale, or soppy sonnet, it must eventually come to an end. And that's what Arthur was doing. As he waited on the abandoned field, and the sky swirled into a grey colour, all he could think about was how this was the beginning of an end.

He had to do this.

"Mr Shelby, is that you?"

Regretfully, he turns his head. She stood there, a little confused but there was happiness in her eyes to see him.

"You said to meet you here, why?" Tatiana trudges towards him, holding up her navy blue dress.

He had a solemn look on his face as he took off his peaky cap. It took him a while to get his words out.

"I didn't like you when I first saw you. I didn't even fucking know you, really. You were just in the background. But now, you're pretty much everything and more."

The wind swept up her brunette hair as he spoke and her brown eyes sparkled. "I'm everything?"

"Because of you, I ain't scared of the air in my lungs anymore, or the blood in my veins... it's because of you." He smiles sadly.

"Arthur..." Tatiana moves his hair out his face. "Is everything alright?"

"II'll always remember you, Tati." He sniffs, not answering. "You're fucking amazing. You are. But you aren't mine, and we're chasing after a dream that isn't ours."

Then, it hit her. The duchess was finally grasping what was happening. "You don't want this anymore, do you?"

Silence.

"You don't want us to see each other?" She takes a couple steps back, completely broken. "Are you serious?"

"It could never work, it was never going to work. I have a wife, my life is here, you're a duchess from Russia for fuck sake!" Arthur shouts, out of frustration rather than anger.

They both knew their love was a ticking time bomb. If only he could find her again in another life, in a different place. If only. But life wasn't meant for wondering about what could've been. Or else, it would've already been.

"I know, but I really wanted it to work. I really did." Her tears fell onto the grass like raindrops. "It's selfish, and morally wrong, but I want you. I still do."

"I'm having a baby, Tatiana." He couldn't keep it in longer. "My wife is pregnant. We can't."

Her face drops, and her heart sinks.

"We need to stop this before we hurt people. I can't keep fucking hurting people." Arthur wipes his face, sniffling. "This needs to stop."

"But you know she's not right for you, you hate your marriage, you told me." Tatiana argues, trying to meet his gaze. "What happened to us not giving a fuck and finally being our true selves? I know this life isn't what you want!—"

"Stop it, stop it, Tatiana!" Arthur yells with his hands on his head. He felt like all his thoughts were going to explode.

Then there's silence again, for maybe far too long. And Arthur was starting to regret raising his voice. But it was too late, Tatiana's sadness had turned into a face of bitter disgust.