All about control

here comes trouble (march)

Theo does his best to wipe away his tears, only managing to further smear dirt and blood across his face in the process. Every muscle aches and burns, his body screaming for him to just lay down and rest. For the first time in weeks, his animals are finally silent, placated enough to let him truly take control. Though, it feels like a futile attempt, he's not sure what he would be controlling anymore, everything around him keeps disappearing and letting go of him like he's nothing.

He feels useless, maybe even less than that, a shell of a person. He lost the one thing that keeps him centered, that keeps his claws out of his chest in the middle of the night, the one thing linking him to whatever slivers of humanity he has left. His anchor is in the wind, and his control alongside it.

Theo sighs to himself, taking one last look at the Preserve entrance as he walks on autopilot to his truck, eyes half lidded, heart beating sluggishly against his ribs. It's a weak attempt at keeping him alive, but it's enough for now. His fingers just wrap around the door handle when his phone rings loudly, startling him out of his daze. He tries not to get his hopes up, doesn't want to let himself believe it's Liam on the other end. Maybe. It didn't matter why he'd be calling Theo. To apologize, to ask to come over, anything .

He holds his breath, sliding his phone out of his back pocket, Mason's name flashing on the screen. He frowns, grip tightening on the device minutely, as the little beads of hope shatter in his chest. Of course it wouldn't be Liam. Why break a three week streak? He swallows what feels like bile burning at the back of his throat, ignoring the way his wolf is starting to stir with anxiety and confusion as he hits the green button to answer the call.

"Mason?" His voice sounds foreign to his own ears, strained and gravelly. Not for the first time, he's grateful that Mason is all too human and wouldn't be able to know the difference between Theo faking it and Theo forcing it.

"Is he with you?" Mason sounds worried, voice edging on hysterical.

It's not a tone Theo has ever heard come from Mason other than in the tunnels when the Anuki-te was the biggest of their problems. A sinking feeling starts in his gut, his wolf stirring, only causing him more anxiety. He shakes his head in an attempt to bring himself back to reality, hoping to settle his wolf as he listens in to Mason's voice again.

"What?" He hates how his voice is almost shaking.

"Liam, is Liam with you? He's been weird lately and dodging my calls, I know he spends more time with you than me lately," Theo swallows, ignoring the implications there, tries not to think too hard on it. "I'm worried about him. I came over to check on him, but Jenna says he isn't here and hasn't been home all night. So, is he with you?"

Theo blinks, eyes scanning the preserve, bringing a hand to rub at his sternum as his heartbeat picks up. Liam hasn't been doing well, he's been dodging Mason of all people, he hasn't been home all night. Something is wrong.

"Theo?" Mason's voice comes through the other side of the phone, tone lilting on the edge of annoyance, like this isn't the first time he's said the chimera's name.

"I'll find him."

"So he isn't with you?"

"I'll find him." Theo doesn't wait to hear Mason's reply, just hangs up the call and gets into his truck at lightning speed, a new found sense of energy coursing through his body as he turns his truck on and speeds down the road to his apartment. If he's going to find Liam he needs to not look like he's just walked out of a crime scene first.

***

When Theo finally makes it to his apartment, he takes the stairs two at a time, so focused on getting himself cleaned up enough that he can go and look for Liam, he doesn't notice the heartbeat inside of his apartment until his hand is on the knob. The door is unlocked, contrary to how he left it. Hand clenched around the door knob in an iron tight grasp, he pushes the door open, animals perking up inside of him at the thought of danger.