All about control

everybody leaves (march)

Liam's barely out of the truck and his heart is falling apart in his chest, feeling like his insides are being sliced to ribbons. It takes every ounce of control he has to march down his driveway without looking back. The tears are burning his cheeks as they fall, and he can't stomach the thought of Theo seeing them.

It's not that he's jealous, because he's not, okay? Like, he can totally understand how someone can fall for Theo, he can't fault Anika for it, not when he did the same damn thing. He meant what he said too, Theo deserves to be happy. And if he's happy with Anika, then fine. Liam can deal with picking the splinters of his exploded heart by himself. He's done it before.

Once inside, he crumples against the door, ear pressed into the wood. Only when he hears Theo's truck pull out of the driveway does he let his bag fall to the floor and any composure he works so hard to maintain along with it. He slides down, knees pulling into his chest as he wraps an arm around them, pressing his forehead into his knees.

He thought they were closer than this. If Theo was dating, why hide it? How can he hide a girlfriend from someone you consider your best friend? Let's be honest here, Theo's friends are few and far between, and Liam knows he's at the top of Theo's list. He knows it like he also knows Theo has been giving him mixed signals for fucking weeks. He sighs, lifting his head to tip it back, smacking it into the door. Maybe for a minute, he thought there was something else going on? Like, just maybe, Theo felt even an ounce of the feelings Liam felt for him.

Turns out he was wrong. Apparently, he was wrong about a lot of things nowadays, because how can you trust someone and keep secrets from them?

He doesn't mean to be like this, doesn't want to be like this. But, it just feels like lately everyone is leaving him, like he isn't worthy of sticking around for. Hayden left him. Scott left. Stiles. Malia. Lydia....People never stop walking out of his life, no matter how hard he tries to get them to stay. It doesn't matter how strong he thinks he is, or what he's capable of, everyone leaves. And he is sick of it, so unbelievably sick and tired of being the one left behind. So, what if Theo was planning on ditching him slowly? He wasn't giving anyone else the chance.

Not again.

It's better this way, right? To leave before you get left? Another stream of tears slide down his cheeks as his body shakes with each shuddering inhale, fighting to get air into his lungs.

...

Maybe Liam is a liar.

When he finally pulls himself out of his shame spiral, it's suddenly a week later. Evidently, he needed space, time to get his head on straight without Theo confusing him with things like soft  smiles and leaving the sticky note in his truck. He can't wrap his head around any of it, unsure of when he started reading things wrong, when he started to let hope build in his chest.

With a frustrated huff, he digs up enough courage to call Theo, hoping to apologize for going awol on him. But, then Anika answers the phone and the world stops.

All the good natured jokes and apologies sitting on Liam's tongue fell away, flying out the window as he clamps his jaw shut, stifling the growl building in his throat. Of course, Theo is using his new free time with his girlfriend. He's replacing the vacancy Liam left behind, if he even left a noticeable spot at all.

So, his irritation bubbles over into rage as he hears Theo's voice on the other side of the line. Theo apologizes for Anika taking his phone barely registering over the slightly winded breaths between the words. Other than that, he sounds fine. He doesn't sound like he's been fucking miserable and losing his mind the last week. Liam's chest hurts, lungs screaming for air he can't let in because if he opens his mouth there's no telling what is going to come out.