THE CHRONICLES OF A FIRST BORN

chapter 3

katelyn's pov

it was 3:00 am when dad came to the hospital mom's procedure had ended an hour ago but the doctors wanted to keep her for the night to monitor her. dad acknowledged my presence with a nod and headed in to see his wife. and as usual they would argue for a few minutes then go back to pretending nothing had happened, while i would grapple with the reality that the whole world has moved on and i've been left behind again.

you might think this event is the worst but like this is one of the minor issues that i have had to deal with. there was one time that mom caught dad sleeping with another woman in the house just two weeks before i came home from the boarding school where i study and she waited for the two weeks and the moment i arrived home she vented out all her frustrations out to me, she even threw a vase at me and the bruise is slightly visible till date, then when dad arrived home that evening mom was back to her usual self , taking and chatting and laughing with dad like everything was normal.

that's when i first got my panic attack, in my huge bedroom surrounded with everything a girl my age could have ever wanted and i passed out.... i was in a house full of people but i have never been more lonely in my life and i still fill lonely every day . anxiety is always looming over me like a dark cloud and its always telling me stuff......... but if i were to use a word it would be.... suffocating.

when i came to that evening when i passed out in my room, i was still there, on the floor nobody had even come to check up on me, they had their dinner without me, wished themselves good night without me, and went to bed without me. that was also the first time i had a sleepless night, and the first time i got accustomed to my demons.

as we left the hospital the following afternoon, the ride was silent except for mom incessant tapping on her phone. then dad said and i quote "you did good today K, that is the work of a first born" the work of a first born , because all children are born with predetermined roles, and all children chose the time they were born, and the order of birth is not predetermined. so i guess it is my fault that i chose to be born the first and in this family too right?

two weeks later my chauffer was driving me back to school for my final term in high school. he was silent during the entire trip and i appreciated that, don't worry i wanted to be in a boarding school there i was a totally different person, i was not always myself but there everyone admired the kind of life i lead, but most importantly i was away from home and it's issues and that is what matters. not that anyone ever bothered to ask.

''K!! OMG girl i am soo happy to see you" "same Millan i had missed you so much how was your holiday?" "i was all over the place attending every party in town and going shopping did you notice my new skirt and my new bag, girl hurry up i have so much to show you." as we dragged our suit cases to the dorms Millan, (my bestie) did nothing but talk about all the make outs she had all the parties and the drama in here life and all i did was listen.

don't get me wrong, i have never had a problem with it coz wat would i tell her about, my shitty life? not a chance. everyone knows me as one of the popular seniors who keep a low profile. i give this bad girl vibes but i hurt no one, honest, i stay out of trouble and trouble keeps away from me. i also perform very well in school and i am disciplined. the main reason is that i don't want to be on the wrong side of the law then earn myself a suspension or expulsion. also i have never gotten the notion of breaking rules honestly, coz i do not need to prove myself to anyone honestly. i have my goal and breaking rules and being rowdy will not help me achieve it.

"there is this new guy that has moved to my estate, his name is Hunter and i am obsessed," "really, how does he look like," "i wish i had my phone, i could show you but alas! the school does not allow it." "don't worry we only have to suffer this shit for twelve weeks then we will be heading to university where...." "THERE - ARE- NO- RUUUUUULES" we both burst out laughing.

i loved this, this moment here laughing, with Millan i forget about my demons for only a minute and i unwind completely oh what i would give to fill like this everyday. "anyway tell me how your holiday was , i keep talking and forget to ask about you, sorry" i tucked a strand of her straight hair behind her ear appreciating her concern and cleared my throat, "normal," "that is it normal, come on you have got to give me more than that." "i don't have anything else to add it was just normal." "you know ... i just realized that i do not know anything about you save for where you stay. how is it that i am never able to contact you over the holidays, i do not know your favorite food or color and we are what besties?" "you never asked.." "what?" "you never have never asked what my favorite food or color was.." i replied nonchalantly.

quite frankly i have never thought about it also, so to me that did not matter "are you saying that i am inconsiderate" "wait, what no! that is not what i meant i....." "get out!" i did not even bother arguing i left without saying another word.

author's note

hi guys.. hope ur digging the story, fingers crossed you are i love you guy next chapter will be coming in shortly so keep ur eyes on the ground..

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