MIKA'S POV
Days had passed since the last time I was with coco, tinupad niya naman yung sinabi niyang aasikasuhin niya ako during my medical exam. It's already april now.
My birth month.
Wala pa ring nagbago, I'm still using omegle during pass time. The only reason why i still use this site is that, umaasa pa rin akong makakamatch ko ulit si N.
I had a couple of match with random guys na pero mabilis mawala yung interest ko, some of them kasi walang substance kausap and others naman is purely kahalayan lang habol. May mga pogi naman pero it's just that i'm not in the mood to flirt.
I never had a sexual contact with coco anymore, huling dilig sakin ay last year december pa. I don't know if masama ba loob niya sakin, or is he offended by the scenario last time sa mall? Or baka may iba na siyang kafubu. Seriously, i don't know.
Kakatapos lang ng duty ko, am shift. It's already 2pm now and I just finished packing up para makauwi na, hindi naman toxic yung duty ko but i'm just really tired.
Napatingin ako sa phone ko nang magring ito.
"Hello, miks! Where you at?" It's shi.
I sighed.
"Palabas na ng hospital." Walang gana kong sagot.
"Ohhh, duty?"
"Yeah." I said, naglalakad na ako palabas ng area, nakapagpaalam na rin ako sa mga kasamahan ko saka sa staffs and to my CI.
"Uuwi ka na ba niyan?" She asked.
"I guess? I'm tired shi, I nees to get some rest." Nanlalantang sabi ko, inunahan ko na siya baka mag aya pa 'to ng gala.
"Chill, i just want to give you a heads up." Narinig ko ang bungisngis niya.
"About what?" Salubong ang kilay kong tanong, nasa parking area na ako at sumakay agad sa kotse saka ito pinaandar.
"Baka may mag chat sayo sa tg ha," natatawa niyang sabi.
"What? Binigay mo na naman tg ko?" Inis na sabi ko.
"Ihh, pabirthday ko na sayo." Parang batang sabi niya.
"Ashiali?" Nasabi ko na lang out of disbelief.
"Don't worry, i guarantee you that he's pogi. CE student from crimson and he's also a gym guy. Go check your tg baka he already hit you up na." Excited pang sabi niya.
Napapailing na lang akong binaba yung call at nag focus sa pagd-drive.
Puro reto, wala namang nagw-work ni isa.
Eh, paano? Hinahanap mo yung qualities ni N sa bawat lalaking makakainteract mo.
Napasimangot ako sa sarili kong isipin.
Well that's true
N is really good at communication, tipong nararamdaman niya agad through chats na i'm not okay or we're not okay. He's fvcking good at compliments, words of affirmations, he doesn't let me sleep with a heavy heart or he doesn't want me go to bed with our unresolved problem. He always reassure me.
Kasalanan ko naman why we never met at least once.
Parati akong busy that time sa duty, ang lakas ko pa mag overthink eh hindi naman ako jowa. Batak pa mag silent treatment pag may naiisip na di maganda.
I can't blame him as to why he cut me off.
Who would've want to settle sa taong unstable? Fixing someone you didn't break will only ruin you. I can't blame him if got tired. I can't even meet him kasi sobrang loaded ng sched ko that time, pag vacant siya ako naman ang hindi. Pag ako naman ang bakante, na minsan na nga lang mangyari busy naman siya sa thesis nila. And i can't do anything against that, kasi graduating siya that time.
