Chapter 28 Checkmate

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Blair♧

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Blair♧

Ever since yesterday all I can think about is the time when I tried to end it all. Opening up to Kingston like that was not something I was expecting to do and quite frankly I wasn't expecting him to open up to me like that either.

Yesterday we both lost control of our feelings and I don't plan on doing it again. My thoughts are consumed by the bloody image of me shaking with the knife in my hands. The red liquid oozing from the wound of which is now a scar. A scar that reminds me of why I shouldn't even be here at all.

Damien and Max are in the arena sparing with their full chests out on display, Damien is practising his combos and defence as Max gently but firmly guides him. I would be enjoying the view if wasn't for the fact that my eyes are glued to the lone fighter just a few benches down from me.

He sits with his back to me and his shoulders slumped down. He is wearing grey joggers and a loose white shirt, not his usual boxing shorts which tells me he has given up on fighting entirely.

I only just realised how important fighting is to him and I hate that Fernando has taken that away from him.

"Will you watch where you fucking step?"

"Says the guy who has the worst footwork ever."

Not even ten minutes in and the guys are already bickering and I chuckle quietly as I hesitantly step over the benches and sit beside Alex. I leave a small gap between us just in case he doesn't want to be too close to anyone at this point in time.

After a few moments of silence and the odd profanity from Max I break the silence.

"Hey."

He looks over at me slowly and I take in how broken he looks. Under his eyes are purple and I wonder if he slept at all, his teal eyes seem almost plain grey, I just want to make everything better for him.

"Hey," he replies, his voice thick with exhaustion.

"You don't look so good," I say and he laughs dryly.

"What a way into a man's heart."

"No no no," I panic and wave my arms about. "I didn't mean it like that I just meant you should probably sleep."

He nods and runs a hand over his dark hair.

"I knew what you meant and yes you're right but I can't," he sighs.

"Why not?"

He frowns and my eyes float towards that heart shaped birth mark below his ear, something so precious on a man built for destruction.

"I don't deserve to, I shouldn't have lost that fight Blair. I am Ace and that means an all rounder I should never lose and somehow in the space of a day I've managed to let everyone down," he angrily flicks his hair out of his eyes before focusing down on the arena but I don't think he's actually watching them.

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