remember, hawaii | ss

Aloha #7

"come on, you can do it pretty. what they said right, shy people is not allowed here."

and because he pulled me that you're-in-hawaii card and since the spotlight was on me that all of the people inside this bar was looking at me, watching my every move if i would be able to cooperate with the hosts on the stage. i was left no choice but to stand up from sitting beside joshua who were staring at me, smiling, encouraging me enough to do what i was told to do. and when i stood up, the crowds cooed even the hosts that was waiting for me sa stage.

oh, we're here pala sa isang bar just five minutes away from waikiki and no, this is not the same bar the resort has nung first night ko dito sa hawaii. and joshua informed me na dito sa bar na to, the host will pick random people either to dance or to sing a song in front of the crowds. there was a live band at the back. and unfortunately, the spotlight landed on me kaya naman joshua pulled that card again leaving me no choice.

"hi, my name is dokyeom." i was surprised that the crowed cheered the moment i opened my mouth to say my name using the mic. i also heard someone from them yelled asking if i was korean, that made me laughed. "yeah, im a korean."

i roamed my eyes around only to find a lot of people watching me. this is way more larger than the audiences nang bar na nasa resort. but despite of the large crowds watching me here in the middle of the stage, my eyes were glued to joshua who's sitting on the side, smiling so wide, watching me. he's my source of strength right now and he would be the someone who would motivate and encourage to continue what i already started.

i swallowed hard. "so i would dedicate this first song that came out of my head to my.. ex." actually, i dont really know why this song popped up in my head the moment i knew i was gonna sing some song for the crowds. and i wasn't even aware that i would dedicate this song to my ex instead para kay joshua. "the song is about being confuse as to why everything started to fall apart, how two person who came from being lovers to strangers. and realizing that something beautiful has gone too soon, and the art of having to let go of a great lost love."

while i was saying it, my eyes didnt part from being glued to joshua. his huge smile didnt fade, probably telling me na okay lang sakanya that i would sing a song for my ex not for him. the crowed was silent while listening to me but some of them cooed about my explanation of the song, even the hosts were just on the side.

"and im going to sing this song because i wanted to finally let go and release this feeling and pain that ive been keeping inside my chest." siguro.. maybe that's really the reason why i did not second thought of singing this song. because i do, i do want to let go of everything. "that is also the reason why i traveled myself here alone.. to seek for healing and to let go of everything that's painful behind."

i smiled painfully as i roamed my eyes around, feeling ko kasi my eyes would fill with water if i will stay staring at joshua. i swallowed hard trying to compose myself not to get reminded of what happened between me and my ex. and since i know this is not the time to cry.

"actually, my ex and i planned this trip together. but unfortunately, we broke up three months ago. the reason? he cheated on me. he impregnated someone behind my back." i laughed awkwardly to lift the atmosphere. super tahimik kasi nung crowd and they were just listening to me.

"how long have you dated?" someone from the crowd ask.

i smiled. "four years.." and i laughed when some of them commented that four years was long ass relationship. "yes too long. i actually thought we're gonna end up together but nah.. but anyways, im letting him and our memories go tonight.. and im hoping ill be finally able to heal."