Indelible (EN)

Chapter 3

"Painting is nothing other than an idea of incorporeal things".

Nicolas Poussin

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9 h 00 -

With my ears ringing and headaches I get up from the sofa to splash some water on my face. Refreshing! I love this feeling of not getting much sleep, feeling like I could fall over at any moment of the day. Everything is so hard when you're exhausted, whether it's having to walk, get up, get ready, make yourself something to eat, go to work, even chat or meet people. A struggle against fatigue to live. No: to survive.

I don't consider myself part of this society system anymore. Fuck the system. I'm not a hothead or a delinquent. No, no, I just admire them, those who completely defy the barriers of our laws, living and exposing their dark sides. Them and the way they stand their ground, because deep down, they're the smart ones, the ones who understand the meaning of freedom. They look like crows, going out at night to roam the streets, doing the 400 tricks. But you know, that makes them majestic and intriguing, and nobody wants to go near them, out of fear. They're also the only birds that humans don't cage. They can be frightening, with their cries that can be heard from miles away, heralding, according to myth, bad news and curses. Yet they are entitled to complete freedom. Take a closer look at their jet-black feathers, which reflect light more brightly than other flamboyant birds. Their completely blackened eyes are captivating. Not to mention their intelligence, capable of remembering faces, paths, smells and sounds in order to get what they want.

I head for the shower, where I spend long minutes under the scalding water. I then slip on a pair of black jeans, a white T-shirt and apply a line of liner and a little mascara. I grab my leather jacket and head for the front door. The sound of my boots echoes on the wooden floor. I stomp out, slamming the door to put the neighbors in a bad mood. Hoping, why not, to wake up the one downstairs.

I go down the stairs just as a call rings out. I bury my hand in the bottom of my bag, looking for my phone. You know those "girl" bags, don't you? I had to turn the whole thing upside down before I could grab it.

I walk through the front door, my eyes darting to the screen to see who's calling at this hour, but I don't have the time, finding my nose in a torso. A sweaty one...

- Good morning, early bird I see.

Oh, no, no, no, this guy is everywhere in my path. The phone slips out of my hand and falls to the ground. I hastily pick it up, without bothering to look up or even say hello. I nonchalantly dodge him with a determined step, leaving him behind me, wobbling.

Arriving at the subway level, I take the opportunity to enter the "Morning Stars" café.

- Hi Leon. I say as I reach the cash register

- Hi! Would you like a triple espresso on the spot?

- To go, for today

- Oh, do you have an important appointment? he asks, raising an eyebrow.

- I just need a little boost, I've had a hard night and I've got to go see someone

- A hard night huh.... Okay, well, don't hesitate to come back any time, I'm not overbooked right now, as you can see. He looked at the empty cafe and a glimmer of sadness passed through him.

- Oh well, I'll add a chocolate madeleine. Have a nice day. He adds before I leave

- You too.

I take the madeleine and my cup of boiling coffee before heading for the metro. Leon is really the cliché of the nice guy, blond chestnut with little curls, light brown eyes, rather thin lips with well-aligned, white teeth. In short, a cutie. I used to live right above his cafe before I moved into the current building. We ran into each other every morning and evening. Suffice to say, he hadn't seen me under the best of auspices. I still take my pick-me-up at his place almost every day, at least when I leave the house. It's close to my place, it's quick as there aren't many people around and when I drink there, it's quiet. I don't want to hear strangers chirping first thing in the morning, it would make me want to slit someone's throat.