Destiny

Chapter 25. I need time

Jiwon and I sat back down on the bench but separately so that I was sitting near the edge on one side and she was doing the same on the other side. We just stared right in front of us and were quiet like that for a while until Jiwon finally spoke.

Jiwon: I'm really sorry for all that I did to you. You didn't deserve any of it at all. You just tried to help us so that we wouldn't be bothered again by Mr Heo and Jake. I was just caught by surprise. I didn't think that you would go to that extent to protect us.

I could feel Jiwon turning in her seat to face me but I kept looking straight forward. I couldn't bring myself to look at her, I was still mad at her but it seemed like my heart was slowly warming up.

Jiwon: I know that I hurt you both physically and emotionally. I know that I shouldn't have acted like that at all. It just all sort of bolted out of me. I have been missing you ever since you left... it has not been the same without you.

Jahoon: How long have you been stalking me?

Jiwon: What?

I turned my head to look at her blankly as she was looking back at me completely confused by what I just asked her.

Jahoon: How long have you been waiting here for me? I know that you guys saw me that day but I haven't been out of my apartment for almost two weeks and also I know that you guys had already gone back to the company and to the mansion more than a week ago. Why are you still here? Why are you stalking me like this?

Jiwon opened her mouth to say something but she closed her mouth again soon after. She dropped her head with guilt as she couldn't really lie when the facts were this solid. Jiwon reached her hands out to hold mine, tightly as if she was worried that I would be gone if she didn't hold on to me. I just let her do it as I didn't have any willpower to pull away.

Jiwon: I really wanted to apologize to you, I wanted you to hear me out. I wanted you back... ever since that day that we saw you in the corridor, I have been waiting for you to come out so that I could talk with you. Yes, we had returned back to the company and to the mansion but every day I have been coming here after work and even till after sundown to wait for you, to apologize to you for my wrongdoing. I know that you may not forgive me right away but please give me a second chance. I looked at Jiwon as she looked back at me with pleading eyes. Hearing her apologize like this to me just reminded me of that day. My feelings are troublesome right now. I didn't know what to do or what to even say. I remained silent for a while before turning my head to look at her blankly.

Jahoon: I don't know... I don't know what to say... I need time to process all of this.

Jiwon looked at me a little surprised as she didn't expect me to respond like that but it seemed like she respected my wishes even though I could see desperation in her eyes.

Jiwon: I understand. Take all the time you need. I just want you to know that I'm willing to do whatever it takes to make things right.

We sat like that for a while. I decided to stand up and just walk back to my apartment. Away from here, away from her. I felt like something broke inside of me as I walked away but I couldn't pinpoint what it was. What I knew for sure is that a heavy decision was placed on my shoulders....

For the last few days, I have been keeping myself in the apartment, in the dark deep in my thoughts. The past few days a lot of tumultuous emotions swirled inside of me. The noises outside which have always been noticeable, have now been dulled and unnoticeable. I heard my phone buzz again and saw another of a hundred messages from Jiwon, expressing her sorrow and pleading for forgiveness. The constant messages just reminded me of the unsolved business between us, that I just wanted to forget about but couldn't.

Jahoon: I don't know what to do....

No matter how much I thought about it, I couldn't decide what was for the best. No matter which option I chose, I could only see the worst of the worst in it. I walked over to the window and slightly peeked out of the curtains to see people with happiness as if they were content with their lives, like they had no worries at all. I could feel the warmth of the sun shining on me as I stood there by the window. Maybe I should take a walk outside, maybe it would help me? I grabbed a jacket, pulled it over me, and decided to take a walk. As always, it was nice to be walking outside like this. Maybe that is why doctors always recommend that people take a walk outside and get some vitamin D. Other than that I could feel the stroll helping me to settle down all of the feelings that I had rumbling inside of me. My mind was beginning to clear up and I could think more realistically but still it didn't help to choose what I should do. I strolled around the park and ended up near the place where Jiwon and I had our "conversation". I sat down on a bench just a couple of meters away and saw a couple sitting there, cuddling up against each other as they enjoyed each other's presence. I looked at them and sighed. The memories from the past all came back to me and I remembered all of the time that I had spent with Jiwon.

Jahoon: We were just like that...

I sighed and leaned back against the bench and looked up at the sky. What should I do? What should I do? Should I just take the risk of getting hurt again? Maybe I should give her a second chance?

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The next chapter will be released on the 05/03/2024

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