Yours

After

    TW! Suicide attempt and sexual topics

     I woke up with a headache, Lilian was next to me on the bed. My body was a little sore, I walked over and got one of her shirts and went to the bathroom. I take a look in the mirror to see a good bit of marks on my shoulders and neck. Well this is going to be fun to hide. I put on her shirt and wash my face, she has a small balcony by the window in her room and I lit up a cigarette I got from Isa. Lilian came out next to me, "Don't you think it's too early for that?" I shook me head, "No not really" she took the cigarette from me "Mine now" "Hey!" I playfully shoved her, "Oh damn hiding your next is going to be a pain in the ass" "Fuck you" "Just did" ... Fair point Lilian Fair point.
     "Wow had no idea" "Bitch" "So what if I'm a bitch?" "Nothing!" She put her hands up and I took the cigarette back from her, "This is my last one so don't even think about it." "Okay okay I'll let the bitch have her cigarette" "Thank you" "I thought you said you loved someone else." "It's complicated." "Well must really be, you never smoke" "someone else mentioned that too" "Cause it's true." She hugged me "He's taken." "What?" "The person I was talking about. He's taken." "Oh, then why do you like him" i don't even know myself.
     "I don't know, I mean he's a cool guy. He's careful, protective, I mean it's just I don't know. I never really knew" "Does he like you" "He has a girlfriend." "So?" "WDYM SO?" oh wait we are still talking to Lilian "Okay but still he's head over heels for the girl" "You know talking to your cheating ex about boy problems is kinda weird" I shoved her playfully "YOU STARTED IT" she looked at me "Round 2?" "NO OMG ITS LIKE  2 AM CHILL"

I spent most of the day at her house, it's a distraction from the whole situation itself. But I already had a plan. I wasn't just going to go straight home, in fact I wasn't going home at all. It was dark, it was around 10 at night. I was still walking the way home when I turned towards the river.
   There was a tall bridge, I stood at the highest point. I undid the braids in my hair and I let the cold wind get my hair messy, I took off Lilian's jacket I let my skin get cold I loved the feeling. I stood there for a minute thinking about what would happen after. Isn't this selfish? What about everyone, would my locker have a Rose on it? Would Lilian just forget about me again and move on? What about Ash... What's going to happen to Ash...
I jumped over the railing just about to jump as my phone started ringing.
Call from: Ash :D

You saved me again Ash.