Soulmates

Chapter 44-Suspicions, Clubs, Arguments, and Double life.

Trigger Warnings: Talks of abduction, Torture, genital mutilation, sexual assault, child abuse, Pedophile and spousal abuse and an instance of a panic attack. This whole chapter is a trigger warning.

The sun shined mildly in the hotel room window. Ryan's eyes flickered open and he raised his right hand to rub his head. Afterwords he felt some type of weight on his left side. He looked and saw Emily laying on her right side, hugging his body. What the... Ryan thought in bewilderment before remembering that he had asked Emily to stay. 

She must have moved into this position during the night. Ryan would be lying if he said he was bothered by this. Matter of fact, this last night was probably he had had in a long time. Not wanting to disturb her, he very carefully maneuvered himself out of her hold. She had a peaceful look on her face as she slept and her mouth had a ghost of a smile on it. 

Ryan carefully, quietly sat up on the bed and then got up and headed for the bathroom. While in there he did his business, brushed his teeth and got ready for the day. He heard Emily start to stir while he was putting his shirt on. After he got his pants on he hear her call, "Ryan?" 

He then came out of the bathroom, "I'm here. Don't worry, I haven't forgotten Hotch's instructions." Ryan partly joked. Emily rolled her eyes playfully, "Well good, I can't let Hotch get on my ass for letting you out of my sight." She joked back. She then got out of the bed and went into the bathroom next to get ready. 

Ryan walked back to the bed and sat on it as he took out his phone. He dialed Josh's number knowing it was his turn to stay with the kids. "Morning, Ryan." He answered. "Morning, Joshua." Ryan said. "So how's Dayton? It how you remember it?" Josh asked. " You could say that. Why didn't you tell me about Priscilla?" Ryan asked.

Ryan heard Josh sigh over the phone, "Which part? The fact that I'm still talking to her or that she became a cop?"  He said a little snippy. Ryan sighed, "I never expected you to not talk to her. But why didn't you tell me that I might run into her at a police station?" He asked. 

 "Oh maybe because in the rare occasions that I have brought up Dayton, or anything related to our childhood you make it very clear you don't want to hear it." Josh said. "Ever since you left Dayton for the final time, it's like you've erased it from your life and anyone who reminds you of it." He added. Ryan shook his head, "That's not fair, Josh." He stated.

 "Isn't it? When was the last time you asked after Priscilla? Or anybody we knew from back then? Face it Ryan, ever since you left home, you've repressed every single thing that could take you back there. Dayton, Priscilla, Angel. I find it a miracle you even talk to me." Josh responded. 

 Ryan wanted to argue but found that he couldn't. He had already admitted to Emily last night that after his mother's death trying to leave the memories behind. He regretted that that including cutting Priscilla out of his life. If he could go back he would do it differently but he can't.

 "I really screwed up, Josh." Ryan admitted and rubbed his forehead. "If I may suggest something brother. You need to talk to somebody. Not Emily or the team. You need a professional, therapy helped me it can help me. It can help you." Josh stated.

 Ryan furrowed his eyebrows, "When did you have therapy?" He asked. "In college." Josh informed before sighing, "Things got bad for me while I was in my freshman and sophomore year. One of my friends noticed it and encouraged me to go see a therapist. I still see one from time to time." He explained. Ryan didn't hide the surprise in his voice, "You never told me that."

 "Like I said anything relating to our shared trauma, you didn't want to hear it." Josh said. Ryan shook his head, " I'm sorry, Josh." He said. It's safe to say Ryan now felt ten times worse than he did last night. Wanting to change the subject he then decided to ask, "Are the kids able to talk?"