Love Hits Hard

Ch-11- My Life

That night with every second I was able to see those beautiful dreams that I made with him. Those shimmering lights and beautiful colours, those pretty nights and lovely moments and in between me and him alone. Each and every dream was breaking in pieces. My dream to be with him forever was looking at me as if laughing and making fun of me.
I don't remember when I fell asleep. But I woke up because of screams and knocks on door. I opened the door and my parents hugged me.

"Thank god you are alright sweetie."

" Why? What happened?"

"We thought that you did the same thing like Noah...."

"Noah what mom? Noah what? Tell me please, what happened to him?"

I knew that they weren't going to answer me. So I ran towards his house. With every footstep my love for him started awakening back. I forgot my anger and sadness. I just wanted to meet him and give him a tight hug.
I reached his house which was full of sorrow.

"Emily stop."

Alan and Ari tried to stop me but I pushed them away from my way and went towards the crowd where his mother was crying. I saw him but...

" No this can't be happening. No no no. He cannot die. Please say this is a joke."

" This is not a joke Emily. He committed suicide. And you know what..."

Alan stopped Cindy before she could complete her sentence.

" Emily I know this is not the right time to talk but you should leave."

" Why should I leave Alan? Cindy is here too then why I?"

" Emily please go."

"Why?" I screamed to him.

"Because you ruined everything", he screamed back. For the first time I saw him getting violent.

" You ruined everything Emily. This is what we found on his desk."

He gave me a letter. I opened it with shaking hands.

Dear Emily,
I know that you will never believe me but all I wanted was just that you hear me once. I wanted to tell you how much I love you. Emy, yes it's true that I said those things to Cindy. I am not saying that whatever you heard was a lie but the way those things were presented to you was a lie. I said those things to Cindy so that he let his father help my father in buisness. I lied to her because I wasn't ready to take over business right now. I was coming to tell you this but I heard Sam saying that you are going to meet me and well everything went wrong. Emy I just wanted to be yours. I just wanted to live with you. But I think now it's not possible. I am sorry that because of me you cried so much. I hope you will always remain happy.
Yours,
Noah.

I ruined everything. He died because of me. I don't have any right to live. I should die too.

"Emily come down."

I don't know how and when but I was standing on the edge of cliff to jump.

"I want to meet him."

"Please come down Emily. He never wanted this. You have to live for hm."

They slowly pulled me down.

                                             2 years later (Present time)

"Miss copper it's your time to meet Mrs. Stephanie."

"Hi, Emily how are you?"

"I am fine doctor."

"So you had a good sleep or got any nightmare?"

"No, I slept properly."

"Hello Mrs Cooper, can we have a little chat?"

"Sure."

She went to talk to my mom. Maybe telling her that I am getting worse day by day. The truth is I was never able to forgive myself for Noah's death. I have never slept properly after that suicide. His death traumatized me and now I am here taking therapies. I cannot forget the moment when he was getting buried. I still see him sometimes, talking to me like we are stll in high school. Mrs Stephanie says that I am hallucinating him. She says that this is making me more sick. But actually I like it. I like hallucinating him. It's like talking to him in real life. She always try to explain me that he is dead and so I have to move on but this is not possible for me. He is one and only one for me in this whole world. I still want to rely on him and want to cry on his shoulder in my low times. I cannot leave him, I cannot leave my past. I cannot move on.

They came back.

"So, Emily have you completed your homework that I gave you in our last session?"

"Yes doctor", I gave her the dairy 'My Life'.

"So this is the problem which is not letting you to lead a normal life? "

" It's not my problem doctor, it's just sometimes Love Hits Hard."