Across All Time

Chapter 2- Processing (Mobius)

(Stick with me people!)

(TW: poor mental health and a slight hint at suicide)

I hold the handle of the pale green mug, the dark beverage long cold by now, and just stared into it.
Where is he? Did it hurt? Is he even alive still?
"Mobius," B-15, sorry, Bea, said. I didn't look up.
"Hey Bea, what's up?" I said trying to sound the same as usual, but just sounding tired and lifeless.  She paused a moment, then took the seat across from me. That's where Loki sat. I can't help but think.
Bea sighed lightly. "How are you doing?" She tried to make eye contact.
"I'm just fine, how are you?" I said looking up but still away from her.
"Mobius..." she paused, "We all see you aren't fine." She didn't say anything after. She was waiting for a response.
"Well then why did you ask. " I muttered, slightly annoyed, unable to keep bitterness out of my voice.
"Mobius, you're clearly still grieving, but do you need help? I get everyone takes their own time, but it's been so long since..." she doesn't finish. She doesn't have to. I breathe deeply.
"How exactly long has it been?" I asked. She looked confused. "Oh come on," I said, almost angrily, "Give me the hours, days, months, years, centuries." Now I looked right at her. "Tell me how long. Then maybe I'll realize to move on."
"Mobius... he didn't do... it so that you could waste your life, he would want you to-"
"How long?!" I shout, starring everyone in the area. I can feel people staring but don't care. I can see the tears in Bea's eyes. And I feel shocked. When was the last time I got that angry?
"You know time doesn't work here." She said quietly.
We said nothing for a moment. I looked at the mug again. "I have forever then. Forever to be stuck with this." I stopped, "Why do you even care?" I spat bitterly.
"Because," she said as she reached out to touch my hand, "I believe in helping those I care about. And I learned that from you."
I think she expected a response again, but I have none for her. We sat a moment longer while we process what we've been saying to one another. I'm bitter about how I can process this but can't process what happened so long ago. I can't process that he's gone. They will never come back.
Bea let go of my hand and stood up. She wiped a tear from her face, then looked at me. I looked away, as normal.
"Just don't do anything... rash." She said quietly. She walked a bit away before she was pulled into conversation a few feet away.
"... you ok?"
"Yes, we just all grieve differently."
"Well... any plans tonight?"
"Just me and the wife, the perk to our relationship is I don't worry about time, and time worries about her," she said with a faint chuckle. I continued to stare at the mug.
"I think everyone worries about her, Bea. Sylvie threatened to remove my spleen once... she still might want to." They chuckle and finish their chat, and then move on.
Like I can't.
I sit, and let the world pass me by. Person after person. I can imagine Sylvie taking a time door home after a full shift. Sinking onto the couch, joking with Bea. Even she moved on. And I am left, thinking childishly, Bea got to keep her Loki, why couldn't I?