Ellie Williams x F!Reader

Fifteen

She didn't want to talk about it. Even a blind man could have seen that.

Given the fact that you two weren't blessed with the best relationship, you felt it wiser to keep your mouth shut and settle on the root instead. Pulling your legs to your chest, you wrapped your arms around and rested your chin on your knees.

The rustling of leaves filled the silence between you two. Ellie strummed the same note on the guitar over and over again. The stumps of her missing fingers twitched as if they remembered how to play, as if they wanted to play.

But something, or someone, had taken it from her and she would never get it back. And it was precisely this realisation that seemed to cause her pain.

For you it was just a talent to be able to play but for her it seemed to be so much more. With half-closed eyes, you watched as she tried to play a song over and over again until finally a frustrated snort left her nose and she gave up.

A muffled sound rang out in the hollow of the wooden body as she leaned the guitar against the tree trunk.

Wind brushed through your (H/C) hair. It made her auburn strands dance. Like little fingers, they lovingly embraced her scrawny face, stroking her dry lips.

She swallowed hard. The movement alone looked painful. Slowly, you reached for the bottle dangling from your belt and silently offered her a drink.

She didn't seem in the mood to talk. Something you welcomed.

Tiredly, she looked at the bottle for a long moment before accepting and unscrewing the cap. She greedily took so many sips in a row that you could hear the water running down her throat. When there was nothing left, she gasped, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. Then she looked at the empty container.

"Now you have nothing left.", she mumbled, almost absent-mindedly.

Snorting, you had to suppress a grin and pointed to the river.

"The water looks clean.", you said. "The plants should have filtered it."

"Maybe it has chlorine in it.", she struggled to get to her feet and stumbled to the small river to drop to her knees.

"Then it would stink."

Her hand hung in the water for a few minutes. It seemed to feel pleasant, her skin, reddened by the sun, became paler and seemed less swollen.

She licked two of her fingers, just to see if there was anything in the water that didn't belong in a human. You noticed her slender tongue with the sharply converging tip.

She had supple fingers and the way it moved and licked them suggested that this was not the first time she had done this.

A strange feeling coursed through your body, followed by goose bumps that quickly disappeared as the rustling of the leaves snapped you out of your thoughts.

Ellie filled the bottle with water, took another few sips and then handed it back to you. Your fingers brushed against each other. Her hand was as cold as ice, slightly reddened at the fingertips.

You found yourself staring.

She wore a bracelet made of leather, simple, with a blue stone on it that was decorated like an eye. A stone in the shape of a palm encircled the whole thing.

Your gaze travelled further up her body. The forearm of her right arm was tattooed. Green leaves wrapped around thinning skin and visibly protruding bones. Her whole body was covered in dirt but that didn't stop you from liking the sight.

A little higher up, you noticed a scar in the centre of the tattoo. The skin was bumpy in some places, uneven. You frowned in confusion. It looked as if the tattoo was there to hide this scar.

"Hey...", she demonstratively shook the bottle in front of your eyes, the water in it splashed. "Don't want it back?"

Torn from your thoughts, you blinked, tearing your eyes away from her arm. Wordlessly, you took the bottle back.

Ellie pulled back, strands of her hair falling down her neck. Almost casually, she stroked her forearm with two fingers as if she was worried that there was something there that shouldn't be. Her lips pressed together in a thin line before she let out a deep sigh.

An uncomfortable silence spread between you. Only the sound of the river mingled with the rustling of the leaves and the swaying of the tall grass.

"Who taught you?", you asked with a nod to the guitar.

Her shoulders stiffened. Pain showed in her green eyes. It was as if she wanted to plunge a knife between her ribs. Or someone else.

You remembered the moment she had stormed into the room and asked for an Abby. The way she had said her name made you doubt that she had been looking for her because of friendship.

Rather, there had been hatred in her. Unbridled, raw hatred, the kind one only got from a few experiences.

"What did she do to you?", it was stupid to ask, but you weren't able to take the words back.

Ellie flinched as if torn from a deep sleep. Her hands clenched into fists, veins protruding through the thin skin.

Swallowing hard, you rested your chin on your knees again and mumbled an apology. She was trembling all over, whether from fear or anger was hard to tell.

Pressing her lips together, she sucked in air through her nose with each quick breath as she did her best to stare a hole in the trunk of the lime tree.

"Everything...", it suddenly came trembling from her lips.

Hate.

You could well understand what she felt. How she felt. You had once felt the same, you had been a lost child who didn't know which way was up and which way was down. Where you should go.

"My mum died a few years ago.", you didn't know why but somehow you wanted to tell her. "I hated the one who killed her. More than anything."

"The worst is still too good for her."

"Probably.", you shrugged, your gaze travelling to the running water. "Sometimes it helps to do your worst. But it will... leave a deep feeling of... guilt, I guess."

Her eyes fell onto you, cold, empty.

"I'm not like you.", she said, teeth clenched.

You returned the gaze.

"You let her go.", you smiled thinly. "Why?"

She swallowed. Deep down she knew the answer.

It wouldn't have made anything undone. It wouldn't have fixed anything.