Be yourself

Lay me here to die

"Healing takes time, I guess that's why I never have. Time doesn't stop, just because I fell behind. It keeps going and going never looking back."
-RVG

"I talked with my therapist the other day. She asked me how I would do it. You know, how I would end it all. My answer was simple. I would take my fear by the horns and plunge into a black abyss. While the air in my lungs slowly runs out and my throat fills with liquid. Maybe then I will be content with my punishment."
-RVG

"Didn't know life could beat me up like this. It's like every time I think I've stood up I'm right back on the ground with a knife protruding from my back."
-RVG

"The voices tell me not to believe in lies. They constantly tell me they know the truth. That they want to help me out of this hole I dug. But what if they're the reason I'm in this grave? How do I know their words didn't lead me to make these decisions? But if I can't trust the voices, who can I trust."
-RVG

"What's the point in living when your hearts no longer beating."
-RVG

"I wanted to end the pain yesterday. But my sisters faces came into my head. And I knew they still needed me. And I couldn't leave them behind. No matter how much I hate this world and hate my life. I can never leave my sisters behind."
-RVG

"I woke up this morning with a strange sore red spot on my skin. And my first thought was maybe it's skin cancer. Maybe God answered my prayer, and I'll die soon. And I was happy. I never thought I'd see the day I'd be searching for death. Yet here I am, Ready with open arms."
-RVG

"He saw me. He saw my hurt and he saw my pain. He gave me a hug and he gave me advice. He told me exactly what I needed to hear. And I thank God for putting him there at the right time and place."
-RVG

"I like the comfort of others. I like to go out and hangout with groups of people who love to laugh. And I like to go home after and have some peace and quiet. Where I can paint and relax. I don't like to be trapped inside all day and night. Because my peace quickly becomes chaos and my quiet becomes silence. My art becomes a chore and my room becomes a jail."
-RVG

"I've come to the conclusion that I'll never find love. Every time I think I've found someone they leave. I'm used to being used and thrown out. And maybe I'll be better off staying away from men. I'm done giving my heart to people that always throw it away."
-RVG

"No one seems to understand my brain. They never know what I'm trying to say. It's like my mind decided it didn't want to be figured out. Everything I say makes people question my sanity. And I fear I don't even have a clue as to how I think. What if I never understand my brain?"
-RVG

"Life has no meaning anymore. I'm floating out at sea on a broken raft that sinks by the minute. And no one cares. There's not a soul in sight, not even a speck of land. I now know what it means to be truly alone. To be in utter silence, completely invisible."
-RVG

"I don't know how much longer I can hang on. I haven't slept or ate in weeks. I'm so tired I just want to sleep. I can barely pull myself out of bed, my legs hurt for no reason and my stomach hurts all the time. I have no motivation to change. I just want to sleep, I want to forget everything and disappear."
-RVG

"Would they be okay If I left. If I disappeared without a word. Leaving no trail to follow. I could start over alone. In a new place no one's heard of. I can delete social media and ghost everyone. I would never have to stress about them again. I can protect myself and my heart from ever being hurt again."
-RVG

"Hearing your pain and suffering breaks my heart. But what breaks it more is knowing you sit there and listen to my meaningless pain, and you actually treat it like it's serious. My pain is nothing compared to yours, and to think it is would be selfish."
-RVG

"When I look at you I realize my life is heaven. I really haven't been through that much. Sure I've been used by a few guys. But why do I take it so hard? Why do I seep into depression when people walk out of my life, When you have been through hell and back twice, and still stand on this earth. How do you do it? How do you stay?"
-RVG

"Sometimes I tell myself to toughen up and hold my head high. To walk like I rule the world. To prove to you I don't need you. To show you I've moved on, you've lost your chance. I tell myself I'm a strong independent woman who can achieve anything. Yet I always circle back to believing I am worthless and unlovable. I can't bring myself to trust your words anymore. Not when I look back at all the broken promises."
-RVG

"It's strange, feeling like I'm cheating when a boy texts me. I feel like I'm disrespecting your memory when a boy flirts with me. It feels wrong to feel good when they call me pretty. And I hate it. I hate that you make me feel this way, but don't want me."
-RVG

"He said I looked "pretty" and I told him "thanks". I didn't know what else to say. It never works to deny it when they say it. It only starts a pointless argument."
-RVG

"Last night was the first time I thought of a better future than you. I let my imagination run wild, I dreamed of a new world where I could be happy. And I want it."
-RVG

"You'd be proud of me, I stood up for myself. I decided to choose my own path. I found the words my mouth could not. I said no, just because I could. I'm choosing the happiness of my heart over yours."
-RVG

"Your mind games are tiring me out. I don't have the strength to play anymore. And to be honest I don't want to know what you're hinting at. Please give me a straight answer or just leave me alone."
-RVG

"I honestly don't know what life should look like at my age. But this doesn't feel right. All my friends are getting married and having children. And I can't keep a boyfriend, let alone have a house and kids. I want a family, but I don't even want myself. It's about time I did that so called soul searching everyone suggests. I need to find a life to be proud of."
-RVG

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I know it's been a while since I posted anything, here's a few while you wait. I hope you enjoy them or even relate to them! Don't forget to vote and comment on your favourite!