The Seventh Avenger: Memories Never Die// Bucky Barnes

TWENTY-THREE: VIOLENCE

TRIGGER WARNING: This chapter will contain allusions to both physical and sexual assault. Please proceed with caution.

          You would think that after months of being forced to witness teens and kids beat each other senselessly as Jasper mercilessly calls them out onto the mat during training, it would get easier to watch. But as I now witness a boy no older than fifteen punch an even younger boy in the face hard enough to knock him to the ground, I can't help but turn my head away. A tight grimace pulls at the features of my thinning face as the second boy's pained moans echo throughout the training room hall. No kid should have to endure the violent cycle that is forced upon them in this place.

          Sara, watching the whole ordeal beside me and seemingly unaffected by the violent act, lets out a low whistle. "Damn. I think he knocked a tooth out."

          Riley on my left, shifts uncomfortably from one foot to the other. "He'll definitely need to go to the infirmary."

          Sure enough, Jasper calls it. He barks out an order for someone to take the boy to see Doctor Udaku, sounding absolutely bored as he does so. When I find it within myself to turn back around, I see that the injured boy in question has blood dribbling from his mouth, staining his lips and chin a crimson red. His face is wet and glistening with tears as pained noises fall from his mouth, but the other two captives ordered by Jasper to take him offer no comfort. They only help him to his feet, eyes looking anywhere but at him.

          Every instinct in my body screams at me to lurch forward and help him, but I remain rooted in place, knowing that rushing forward would not only place me directly in front of Jasper's eye but could also have severe consequences for the boy as well.

          As if sensing my discomfort and mistaking it for something else, Riley assures me, "It's OK. Doc will be able to fix him up – he's had to deal with much worse."

            A dismissive grunt is my only response, not having the energy to explain to her that it's not just the boy's welfare that I'm worried about. Once upon a time, I would have rushed forward to help with no hesitation whatsoever. But now, all I do is stand and watch, still as a statue and useless from the other side of the room, hating that I can't.

           I hate that I can't help. I hate being stuck in this place. I hate the training. I hate the experiments. I hate the brutal guards and Jasper Williams, the most vicious of them all. But most of all, I hate HYDRA.

          I run a hand down my tired face and let out a quiet sigh. It's turning out to be one of those days where I am stuck in a rut. A dark, gloomy cloud seems to constantly hang over me, drowning me in feelings of helplessness and defeat and no matter how hard I try to ignore it, it doesn't go away. It follows me around from the moment I open my eyes to unwillingly greet the day that lies ahead and remains with me long after I have fallen asleep, only to wake hours later and repeat the same cycle. These days are occurring more frequently the longer that I am stuck in here and despite the efforts of those around – cheerful and optimistic Adam, gentle and kind Riley – they're becoming harder for me to shake off.

          I let out a shaky breath through my mouth and found myself closing my eyes. Just take it easy. One day at a time.

          "Alright, that's enough for today!" Jasper barks, the sound of his grating voice echoing throughout the room and causing me to ground my teeth together. "Get moving!"

          And with his words, the small crowd that has formed around the mat starts to disperse. Some move off to the other training stations to continue their training, while the more sombre and dejected teens slowly trek towards the entrance, small, thin forms shaking with fear as they go. With a mocking salute sent my way, Sara bids both Riley and I farewell before she disappears in the middle of the first crowd, likely searching for a sparring partner for the day.