Hazbin Hotel Reimagined

That Didn't Go Well

Charlie

Heaven smelled of lavender and vanilla. I looked around and the sky was full of the different types of angels. Some were doctors and scientists. Others were philanthropists helping others. The sky in the background was also a beautiful orange with pinks swirled in. It was much different from the intimidating reds of Hell. I walked up to the large stone podium in front of the golden gates. Standing behind the podium was a smiling, blonde angel. His smile looked like one of those smiles you'd see on a kid who was forced into a family photo.

"Hello! Welcome to Heaven. Can I get your name?" He made a transparent clipboard and quill appear.

"Uh, I'm here for a meeting so try Charlie Morningstar?" I rubbed my hands together nervously.

He skimmed through his list and I could see him growing nervous. He cleared his throat.

"Uh, that's funny. I'm not seeing you on here.. Is there any other name it might be under?" He flipped through the pages frantically.

I felt like I was about to start panicking. I started to sweat and I could feel my throat get dry.

"Well, my dad got me this meeting... so... maybe try... Lucifer Morningstar," I didn't have a backup plan and my dad wasn't here with me to confirm the meeting was real. I really wish Vaggie was here.

He froze and the clipboard and quill vanished from his hands. He fluttered out from behind the podium.

"WOAH! Shit, that...is.. Wow. Hehe, I think you may be in the wrong realm, heh," his eyes grew wider the longer I stood there.

I felt myself growing smaller and smaller, Had he lied to me? No, my dad wouldn't do that.

All of a sudden there was a glow in front of the golden gates and I got a strong whiff of cologne that a frat guy would wear. There was now a guy who looked sort of like an exorcist angel with the LED mask and horned hood. There was also an actual exorcist standing next to him, a disgusted scowl firmly placed on her face.

The guy hovered over to me and held his nose.

"Eugh, you could've washed the smell of depravity off before coming up here, ya'know," he poofed a small spray bottle and spritzed it a few times in my direction.

"Anywayy, you can follow us. See ya, Sir Petaah," he aimed finger guns and the blonde angel with the list, Sir Peter, swiftly ducked behind his podium and released a shriek. I watched in shock until the angel cast two enormous lights of heavenly light from the seemingly harmless finger guns.

I quickly tried to remember the simple teleportation skill my dad had taught me when I was younger. I closed my eyes and snapped my fingers.

I felt the heat from the blasts but I knew I wasn't harmed. When I opened my eyes again I was next to the floating douchebag. Who happened to be laughing his ass off.

"HA, did you see him, Lute?" He bumped shoulders with the other exorcist. She wasn't outright laughing but she was definitely grinning at the damage.

"Very nice, Sir," she touched his shoulder.

"But, we must get on with this... meeting. Onward to the Hall?" She guided the angel toward the gate and begrudgingly urged me to follow along. We walked through the gates and were met with a large courtyard filled with buildings and happy angels walking along the cobblestone streets. There were dozens of different smells wafting through the streets.

My eyes widened at how beautiful the sight was. I had never seen so many people getting along in one place before. The food that was passed around by many also looked like what I had imagined real food to look like. This was nothing like the chaos of Hell. I wonder if they all know about the death and destruction that their leaders and army are committing each year just below them.