A Drizzle of Home

19 | A Drizzle of Doubt

My body was wrapped in warm fur, gently pressing against my sides. The fuzzy walls expanded and shrank back with each breath. I shivered as I remembered the horrors of the day.

That it was just me and her now. Alone.

But at least it was safe now. Mother had ended the danger, sacrificed her life to save me. And then there were my siblings. I didn't understand why I was the one to make it. Why not Ripple, my sweet, loving sister with such a beautiful hope of a life filled with joy? Why not pure little Wade, who deserved so much more than what nature had dealt him.

But no. It was me. I'd live forever listening to their screams. Ripple called my name again as I left her behind in the forest. I heard her howl as the cougar snapped her neck. I hadn't meant to get separated. Now she was dead. If only I'd stayed with her I could've... I would've...

Died too.

I felt her weight shift beside me. My sister was finally waking from her long slumber. She needed the rest to recover from her injuries. She needed time. Needed help.

There was no one. We only had each other, and I relished her warmth like it was the last I'd ever feel.

She yawned. It was time for our snuggling bodies to part ways––the only source of comfort we'd felt the whole day through. We had to face reality now, break away from the bliss of our dreams. Because sleep wouldn't fill out bellies, and it wouldn't find us a new home.

I cracked open my eyes, and a line of soft pink broke through the darkness. Blinking the heaviness from my sight, I raised my open muzzle with a small, squeaky yawn of my own.

I looked at the wolf beside me, but I no longer ducked in the fur of her belly. I couldn't hide beneath her chest from the monsters in my dreams. Instead, I formed the outer shell like a snail with my curved body, and her white form lay against my side. Her fur was soft, warm and silky. She smelled of pine and sweet pollen. Her eyes gently opened, as pale as her pelt, silver and sparkling like crystal waters.

"Cloud!" With a start, I jumped to my paws and reached down to nuzzle her. I licked her face then nudged her chin upwards until her weary eyes met mine. "You're awake!" Tears welled in my vision, but I quickly blinked them away. She was okay. She was alive. No need for sadness.

Her expression was a little speechless and dazed. I pressed my cold nose into her muzzle, trying to tickle a smile onto her lips, while she continued to scan her surroundings. "Where am I?" She rolled over, then shifted her weight onto her hind paws. She pushed up with her legs and attempted to stand, but her front limbs were weak. They quickly toppled, and she tipped snout-first toward the ground. I reached out with my head, hooking it under her neck to catch her before she fell.

"Woah, woah, woah," I chided, "Lay down." I gently lowered her back to the den floor, but the fearful look hadn't left her eyes. "You're home, Cloud."

Finally, she exhaled. Her darting eyes settled, but her heart was still pounding in her chest. It thumped loudly as her pupils widened and another question came to her tongue.

"It's okay," I cooed, nuzzling her again. "You're safe, and so are the pups. You saved them."

She sighed, shaking her head and closing her eyes for a moment. I knew the feeling, the dazed headaches brought on by sheer confusion and the feeling of being lost. When she opened them, she slowly cast her gaze over her bloodied side. The three long gashes inflicted by the grizzly were still there, fresh and raw, but thankfully they had stopped bleeding. I'd nursed them while she slept, cleaning the dirt and blood away from her wounds so they wouldn't get infected. I was just relieved they hadn't killed her in the first place.