A Drizzle of Home

33 | A Drizzle of Perfection

Before long, the sound of shuffling paws and the low thrum of voices drew us from our den. We stepped outside to find the pack gathered and everyone getting along again. Spruce and Pine lay with their mother, each with a shoulder pressed to either side of her own. A soft smile was etched across her muzzle. The perfect look of contentment.

Across the cave lay Dusk, with her own pups dispersed about her. Badger gnawed on his sister, while Vixen batted at his ears. Behind her, Buck pounced on his mother's swishing tail. Toad's small form was curled at her mother's paws.

We found a place in the middle, nestled between the wolves most important to us, right next to the wolf most important to me. Cloud placed her paw beside mine, the prickly ashen fur around her toes tickling against the smoke-colored hide of my single forepaw. Two colors so different, but alike. One dark, one light, belonging together. Even the weight of my footless leg seemed less heavy lately, hardly on my mind at all. Hardly a problem at all. I couldn't imagine a time when I didn't have this burden, this part of me that changed so much of my life, even if I couldn't remember much of those times without it. Because it didn't matter now, and it wasn't a burden. Not when I had a perfect family surrounding me, reminding me that having one less paw than the rest of them didn't change a thing in the world.

Finally, the awestruck gazes between us must've drawn Spruce's attention, because he looked over and stuck his tongue out. A fake gag followed. Cloud returned it with a sly smirk, and buried her muzzle into the fur of my neck. There was no longer anything for him to tease Cloud about, maybe because he and his sister were right all along, but still the thought of us being openly in love would surely drive him mad.

Pine eventually caught sight of the spectacle, and she was the first to speak. "What are you two grinning about?"

Cloud and I shared a glance. "Does there have to be any particular reason?" she asked with a laugh.

The yearling stared at us, a smile creeping onto her own muzzle. "Of course not." Then she glanced around the pack, the same look of wholeness that I'd just felt, sparkling in her eyes. An extra glimmer of hope flashed within them. "I want to feel that way some day. Like the two of you do..." she started to say, but she hesitated. "But I know that not everyone is lucky enough to have that perfect wolf stumble into their pack. I'm not sure"––Pine swallowed audibly, the beginning of glistening tears forming in her eyes––"I don't think I could ever leave this behind."

The comment felt a little out-of-nowhere, for a wolf so young to be worried about the future. Mist raised an eyebrow, certainly thinking the same thing, and Dusk's face softened in concern. She sent Buck tumbling from her tail with an extra powerful sweep, and she gently stepped over the still slumbering Toad. She made to settle next to Pine, while Cloud and I squeezed in closer by Spruce. He grumbled something under his breath, but said nothing.

Mist licked the single tear that had trailed down Pine's cheek, regarding her with a low, comforting woof. "In a rush to get away from me?" she teased, and her daughter shook her muzzle quickly. "Good," her mother said, scooping up Pine's muzzle with the back of her neck. "Don't ever feel like you have to leave, there's still so much growing-up left for you to do here. We'll always be your family, your home. And one day, there may be someone else you want to have a family with. When you're ready, it won't feel so much like leaving us behind, but forging a new path. A new branch on our tree. Below you, we'll always be here, because a tree can never escape its roots."

Pine nodded slightly, accepting her mother's affection with a nuzzle of her own. But the words sank in, even in me. Maybe I didn't have to leave my own past behind. Maybe I never should've tried. If I could just accept that I wasn't leaving anything, just growing apart, a limb of my own, then I wouldn't feel like I was somehow betraying the wolves that came before me.