Painkiller - Huskerdust

Special Place

Chapter 16

I felt a weight on my head. Like something was resting on it. It was comfortable though, so I didn't feel any need to push it off.

Then I noticed that the pillow I was lying on was moving up and down, and there also seemed to be a sound coming from it. A soft snoring.

I opened my eyes to find Husk, asleep, in my bed.

I remembered.

Well, not everything. I remembered that I was at work, I didn't know for how long. I remembered that they picked me up, and I remembered that I went to my room, and Husk followed me.

I didn't want to get up. I felt like I was floating, and it wasn't because of any drugs. It was because of the embrace that I laid in that what so strangely comforting.

His hand on my hair, my head on his chest. I wanted to stay there.

I closed my eyes again, and I felt like I was falling asleep again. But then came a knock at the door.

I didn't want to get up.

Knocking, again, then the door opened.

"Hey Angel-" It was Charlie, but she paused.

Husk stirred before I could feel him moving his arm to rub his eyes.

"Oh- Hi, Husk! I didn't know you were in here, um, we have breakfast ready, if you guys wanted to join us," she said, softly, then shut the door.

I kept my eyes shut. Husk didn't move for awhile, but I could feel him staring at me.

"Angel," he spoke, very softly. Almost a whisper.

I furrowed my brows and grunted, "Five more minutes."

He sighed. But he didn't move. In fact, he stayed in place almost like a statue. Maybe he wasn't sure how to position himself. He didn't seem like the type of guy to know how to cuddle. But who knows. He was still good at it.

After what I could only assume to be five minutes, he spoke again, "Angel, wake up."

I rolled over, off of his chest and pulled the blanket over myself, groaning.

He pulled the blanket off of me, "You've been sleeping for eighteen hours, you gotta wake up."

I shot up.

"Eighteen hours? Shit! What if Val messaged me? What if he organized a shoot for me? Fuck!"

I jumped out of bed and searched the room for my phone. I found it in my coat pocket.

But although there were hundreds of messages, none of them were about shoots. I sighed in relief.

Then it hit me, Husk had stayed with me for eighteen hours, without moving. I looked over to him to see him grunting as he stood up, stretching his limbs.

"You're insane, y'know. You coulda' just left me," I said, laughing at how silly it was.

"I didn't wanna wake you up," he replied, continuing his well needed stretches.

"C'mon, Charlie said there's breakfast," Husk said, making his way out of my room, as if it was a regular thing for him to do. As far as I was aware, he had only been in my room around three times. 

Maybe it had been more. Who knows what happens when I'm out of it.

I followed him out of the room and we walked to the dining room together. Everyone was already waiting.

Everyone, except for Alastor. He never ate with us. He had this weird thing about eating in his room. I don't know if it was because he wanted to be alone or because he was eating... weird things. I think I prefer not knowing.

I sat down at the table, next to Husk. Maybe if I kept joining them for breakfast, it could become my usual seat. I don't know why, but that idea seemed so nice to me. The idea that I have a place at a breakfast table.

A place where I could always sit, and if anyone new tried to sit there, someone would say, "Hey! That's Angel's seat!" And they'd sit somewhere else.

That would be nice.

But as I sat and watched everyone spoon food onto their plates, I couldn't manage to work up the appetite. I slept so well, but I felt so tired. Food might've helped, but I didn't want it to. Something inside me told me that I don't deserve help. I don't deserve food. 

The idea of something inside my stomach already made it turn.

I couldn't stop thinking about work. Well, not work. But the drug. Painkiller.

It wouldn't be unlike Valentino for him to make the drug to be highly addictive. And as the sweats began, I knew that it was. My face ran pale and I felt my stomach move up to my throat. There was nothing in it so I just felt like my organs were trying to break free.

Can you be addicted after using it for twenty hours? There's no way. 

Then I realized, wouldn't that be the perfect punishment? Make a drug that makes you blackout but still horny, able to function, be obidiant and not remember it. 

And you love it, of course. Because it takes away all the pain. But it doesn't take away just the pain. It takes everything. And I realized, it took my brain too.

He made it so that as soon as you took it, you wouldn't be able to stop taking it. Did he make it for me? 

I can't tell if it's a punishment, or another form of enslavement. He gave it to me, knowing that I'd be knocking on his door to give me more. That has to be the reason. There can't be any other reason.

I pushed back from the table, excusing myself.

Everyone looked at me, confused. I didn't care to explain, I just dashed to my room.

I barely made it two steps inside till my legs gave out.

My hands were clammy and my skin was soaked in sweat.

My joints ached and I could feel them telling me what would make it all better.

I felt so pathetic and ugly laying there. An addict in withdrawal from the drug that was made for him.

In desperation, I grabbed my phone from my pocket and dialed Valentino.

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painkiller doublemeaning moment? sory ylal im high as hell the next chapter will be . YAY! maybe. idk . dont trust anything i say im high