Painkiller - Huskerdust

Let It Take Me

Chapter 9

For once, maybe once in a decade, I didn't have a headache. But evenso, I didn't feel good. It wasn't physical for once. My head felt heavy, like a rain cloud before pouring down.

I woke up under my covers, and I didn't want to move. It was earlier than I usually woke up, so I figured there was no rush. It's not like the other Hotel guests needed me to do their program. They did just fine yesterday.

The covers just felt so safe, so I didn't leave. I did however grab my ketamine, knowing it would make my bed feel like what I imagined still being in the womb was like.

I racked up two lines and snorted them, then retreated back under my covers. After a few minutes, I could feel the bed swallowing me whole, till it turned into an endless hole that I fell down, till I floated. My eyes were open, but hell around me was gone. I was in a world that I wanted to stay in.

I floated aimlessly, unable to move. If I was still alive, I would assume I was dead. I always thought this must be what death would be like. I was so far from it.

Something disturbed my peace. It felt intruding. In my special floating world, I saw an object, flying towards me at light speed. My blankets were ripped off of me.

There stood Charlie, beaming with delight. I didn't know if she was real. I tried to focus my eyes, and let out a questioning "Charlie?"

"There you are! We didn't hear you come back last night, we thought you weren't here!" She chirped.

"I've been here for ages," I said, trying not to slur my words. I didn't want her to know I was doing drugs in the Hotel. I thought she wouldn't come looking for me.

"Come on! We've got a group breakfast planned this morning," She said, grabbing my hands and pulling me out of bed. She didn't even give me a chance to get changed.

I focused on my feet while she dragged me, trying my hardest not to stumble, and before I knew it, I was seated at the dining table.

Everyone was there and Husk sat next to me.

I was greeted with a 'Good Morning!'

It didn't feel like a good morning.

I sat up straight and avoided the eyes of the others, but I guess that was too suspicious. Luckily, it was Vaggie who prodded, "Are you hammered?"

I perked up and stared her as straight in the eyes as I could. 

"I had some late drinks, alright?" I let myself slur my words.

"Nothing breakfast won't help," Husk chuckled, seeing through my drunk facade.

An array of dishes was on the table, but food was the last thing on my mind. Sure, I hadn't eaten in... however many days, but it's not like I was starving myself. I just didn't feel like eating.

Charlie kept her gaze on me, and I knew I wouldn't get away with an empty plate, so I dished myself up the thing nearest to me.

I didn't plan on eating it, but Charlie looked equally satisfied.

As everyone gulfed down their food, I poked at mine with a fork, stirring it around to make it look like I touched it. Everyone was too focused on their food to notice, except for Husk.

He stared at me, then at my plate, then back at me with a questioning look.

I mouthed the words, 'I'm not hungry,' at him, and he mouthed back, 'Eat.'