i can forbear this torment,
swear to me you'll be fine.
your eldest,
ae.
ma, i starved myself that day. my mouth puked as i indulged the tasteless rice paired with anchovies i am allergic, too. i almost cried because my stomach refuse to digest them but that is the only bounty i had that time. i have zero penny left in my pocket yet i go to school because you said the only thing you can give me is education. i am ashamed to talk to you and ask for grace because it will be an endless battle of who is more tired and who is suffering more to get the goods.
i feel so small around my friends who can afford the luxury of eating out after class— i go straight home because i can't. not that i am envious of them, but, ma, i am ravenously hungry, but all i have is the luxury to leave.
this is not to let you know that i am hollow and penniless. this is me, wanting to tell you that i've been in hell meticulously and wanted to be saved by mama who's living in a foreign land, taking care of children not hers, while hers cried for grace.
ma, i'm fine as long as you are. i starved myself that day but at least i got the only inheritance you can give me.
