Keep Dreaming

What's Going On? - Erin's POV

I exhaled and looked around the room. The reality of it all hit me for a moment. I put my head in my hands. My was head reeling and my mouth dry, and I felt as though I was about to puke.
I inhaled through my nose and out through my mouth a few times, trying to pull myself together. As a therapist, I should be chock-full of coping strategies for stressful situations. But it was as though my mind was racing, buzzing with thoughts - and simultaneously blank. I couldn't think straight. As I lifted my head from my hands, I saw Ianto's limp body draped dramatically across the sofa, which nearly sent me into a full-scale panic attack. I clamped my eyes shut, gritted my teeth and squeezed my hands into tight fists. I peeked my eyes open again, confronting the reality in front of me.
"I'm fine. I'm safe now."
I whispered to myself as I tiptoed up to the slumped figure. I repeated my mantra as I started to heave Ianto's deadweight body onto my shoulders. Thankfully I had always remained fit, even after leaving the Gardaí - it often pained me to go to the gym, but I was immensely grateful for being consistent in this moment in time.
I eventually managed to get a position where I was just about able to carry Ianto without any major discomfort - although it was incredibly awkward trying to lug him through the corridor and out the door. He would probably have a few bruises when he woke up.

When I got to the big navy Jeep, I groaned. I contemplated how I would lift the hefty man into this car - and where would I put him? What if, when on the road, I got pulled over for having a suspiciously-passed-out-looking-person flopping around?
I looked to assess which seat would be least conspicuous, before realising that all the windows were tinted, meaning it was near-impossible to see inside. I breathed a sigh of relief.
Realising Ianto probably had the car keys somewhere on his person, I suppressed a frustrated shout and set about my task of trying to lay him down on the tarmac ground as gently as possible. I tried to kneel in an attempt to get closer to the ground and lessen the impact for Ianto in case I dropped him, but my knees nearly buckled as I did. That evidently wasn't going to work.
In a stroke of genius, I realised I could use the car to help me. I hoisted Ianto back onto my shoulders and made my way to the car bonnet. I realised how dodgy this looked and anxiously glanced around. Thankfully, the office carpark was relatively secluded and it was way too early for my co-workers or any clients to show up. I grunted as I shrugged Ianto off my shoulders and onto the car bonnet, a metallic "thud" sounding as he made contact with it. I would have felt bad, except he did try to drug me just a few minutes before. It seemed like fair payback to me.
I fished around in Ianto's pockets in search of the car keys. Although he was well and truly out for the count, I avoided looking at his face. After sheepishly digging through Ianto's pockets for a while, I could feel the cool, metallic keys and let out a breath of relief. I yanked them out of his pocket triumphantly and opened the car. I had never been more grateful to hear the "beep" of a car unlocking.
I opened a door from the back of the car and took a second to marvel at how immaculately clean it was. I walked back over to the hood of the car and braced myself before straining to carry Ianto again - at least it was a short haul this time. I placed him in the car seat, contemplating simply leaving him slumped across the row of seats, but my conscience got the better of me. I begrudgingly propped him up and pulled the seatbelt across him. As I fixed him into place, he snored right in my face. I curled my lip in disgust.
"You're welcome."
I retorted sarcastically. To whom, I'm not sure. It's not like there was anyone conscious around.
God, what a morning.

I closed Ianto's door and made my way to the front seat. I hopped into the unfamiliar vehicle. It was so different to my dinky little mini cooper. My car was ancient - given to me by my granny - and cramped. This car was sleek and new and spacious. For a moment I wondered whether I'd be able to drive it. I quickly realised how stupid this thought was as I put my hand on the clutch and immediately eased into the oh-so-familiar feeling of driving. I was surprised by how it felt to drive a car that wasn't constantly on the brink of collapsing, though. This car felt as though it glided on the usually-bumpy roads.
I was so absorbed in this fascination that I forgot why I was in this car in the first place. As I tested my rearview mirror and caught a glance of the unconscious stranger in the backseat, all the thoughts about Jack and about the nearly-getting-drugged, flooded back to me. I could feel my stomach starting to cramp and my hands getting clammy on the wheel: the dreaded warning signs I got before a panic attack. I couldn't have one now, there was no time to spare. Stopped at a light, I tried to think of coping strategies that I told my clients about, but my head felt like it was buzzing because it was so full. I knew the light would turn green soon and I'd have to be fully fit to drive. I glanced down for something to calm me in desperation. Keys to hold, hand sanitiser to slather my hands in - anything. With nothing to fidget with and the lights about to turn green, I practically slammed on the "radio" button and turned the volume up, so the car was blasting music. Perhaps not my most professional strategy, but it worked a charm for me. Music always found a way to calm me.
I sang loudly along to the song as I followed Jack's instructions to get to the water tower.
"-And I say, hey-ey-ey, Hey-ey-ey
I said hey, a-what's going on-"
I caught a glimpse of Ianto stirring in the back, and I looked in the rearview mirror. He was starting to come to: either the drug was wearing off or the music was waking him - probably a combination of the two.
I ended up feeling unexpectedly relieved when I realised I had reached my destination, as I didn't quite fancy explaining to a groggy Ianto what was going on when I didn't quite know myself.
I double-checked Jack's text to make sure I was in the right place, but I couldn't see him anywhere. I stepped out of the car and glanced around. The icy wind whipped my face and flapped my coat around me as I squinted my eyes to look for Jack. I walked closer to the water tower, scanning and re-scanning the text to make sure this was the right place. Or maybe he had tricked me?
All of a sudden, I saw Jack appear out of thin air. I can't quite explain how - the way he was standing I should've been able to see him walking up to me. But I didn't. I was too perplexed to be scared or angry at first. Dumbfounded, I just stared at him.
"But- how did you...?"
He looked at me, a serious expression on his face that brought me back to the severity of the situation.
"Erin, I need you to come with me."
Perhaps I was just tired and emotionally exhausted, or maybe I was still reeling from his optical illusion, but I didn't feel as angry or scared as I had been earlier. It was Jack. Jack, the lovely man who came up with the most incredible stories. I followed him a few paces before hesitating.
"Oh, uh - Ianto's in the car. By the way."
Jack looked at the car and raised his eyebrows, contemplative.
"We could- no, I suppose we'd better bring him in, right?"
"Em.. yes, I would have said so."
Jack looked and me and sighed.
"Right, you wait here and I'll grab him."