Keep Dreaming

Stubborn as a Mule - Jack's POV

Erin looked at me, dumbfounded.
"... sorry?"
It was like she hadn't heard the question, and I thought she genuinely wanted me to repeat it. I faltered.
"Uh, would you-"
"No, I know what you said. But... what? Why me?"
I took Erin by the shoulders and looked her in her eyes.
"I hand picked you for this job. I knew I wanted you to be in this position since before I met you."
Her eyes widened and her brows raised.
"Me? But... why?"
"I was looking for someone who might suit the job and I stumbled across you. You just had... a spark, so I dug deeper. I managed to access some restricted files and I stumbled across your history from when you were with the guards."
Her eyes welled up as she realised I knew about her past and the incident.
"Oh. That."
She seemed to be ashamed, which surprised me: I thought it was a brave thing to do.
"I'm not saying it was the right thing to do - but I don't necessarily think it was the wrong thing to do either."
She let out a dry laugh at this.
"Yeah, my Superintendant didn't see it that way."
Her breath caught in her throat as she went on to explain. I shifted uncomfortably, knowing I had struck a nerve.
"I used to be good at keeping my cool, you know. But when I came to pick up this fucking bastard and he started bragging about the things he had done to that girl..."
She shook, face red with anger, as a tear slipped down her cheek. I gently put a hand on her shoulder in an attempt to comfort her and she turned her face to look me directly in the eye.
"He didn't even get jail time for it. He got out on bail, they said it would 'ruin his reputation.'"
She spat furiously.
"They said I was lucky not to have a case against me after I hit him. If I could go back, I'd do it again, though - maybe I'd hit him harder. The fucker managed to get away with a light warning."
She looked up at me with round, tear-filled eyes.
"He didn't show any remorse. He was proud."
I looked back at her and felt a stabbing pain in my chest.
"I know. Trust me, I know. People are shitty. So many people are just evil, and no matter what we do, we can't change that."
I paused.
"But then there's people like you, Erin. People like you who just want to help, want to make the Earth a better place. A beacon of light in the abyss."
I looked at her with a small smile, cupping her face in my hands.
"And you're not alone. There are more people like you - like Gwen. Toshiko. Owen. Ianto."
"And you?"
I paused.
"I suppose so."
I looked at her pleadingly.
"Join us, please. Because if you want to do good in this world... this is the place to do it."
Erin looked at me, blank faced.
"Just... give me a minute to process this, please. It's a lot to take in."
I looked at her understandingly.
"Take as much time as you need."
I said as I backed out of the room. When outside, I saw the rest of the team scatter, evidently having tried to listen into our conversation through the wall.
"Don't you have jobs to be doing?"
I asked teasingly. They could be nosy bastards when they wanted to.
I made myself a coffee and sat outside the room that Erin was in. I was trying to be patient, but God was it hard. I was itching to know what she would do - if she said no, I'd have to retcon her and never see her again. I'd have to start all over again.
I jumped as I heard a small knock from the inside of the room. I practically jumped up from my chair and ran to the door.
Inside, I looked to Erin with an eager expression.
"So..?"
A small smile grew on Erin's previously-tearful face. She nodded slowly.
Ecstatic, I smiled widely and took her in for a bear-hug . She giggled: it was a great sound to hear after seeing her so upset earlier. I set her down on the ground and held my hand out.
"Should we tell the others the good news?"
(Although they probably already heard through the wall, I thought to myself.)
Erin took a deep breath and grabbed my hand.
"Let's go."
We marched hand-in-hand to the main area, near Tosh's computers. Everyone's heads snapped up, evidently having been waiting for us. I held up Erin's hand triumphantly, as though she had just won a boxing match.
"We have a new member of the team!"
Gwen ran over to Erin, squealing and gushing incoherently, while Toshiko walked over in a calmer manner to congratulate her.
I walked over to the medbay to check on Owen. Ianto was laid on the examination bed, a drip in his arm.
"He's got a cocktail of meds going into him. They should wake him up fairly sharpish with little-to-no amnesia, if I've done this right. Which, let's be honest, I probably have because I'm brilliant."
He smiled cockily at me as he bustled by, doing god-knows-what. I wasn't necessarily surprised by his lack of reaction to Erin joining, but I wanted to probe further.
"You heard Erin's joining?"
Owen glanced up at me briefly.
"Yeah, fantastic. This place didn't have enough feminine energy with the girls, you and Ianto..."
I had to admit, it was quite funny, but I had to stifle my grin.
"Hilarious. But seriously, what about Erin pisses you off so much?"
Owen walked towards me, his face just inches from mine as he glowered. Although he was (supposedly) straight, this was feeling suspiciously homo-erotic.
"Look, you want to know the real reason I don't want her here? It's because she's a shrink, and I know you're going to get her to be one here to 'help us with our problems' or some bullshit. Who do you all seem to think's the root of most problems here, Jack? Hm? And do you remember how I got to be like this? I don't want her to think she can magically fix me, because I've tried. Nothing works. Nothing ever fucking works."
I was taken aback. It actually took me a second to process exactly what Owen meant, but by the time I had, he had already stormed off.
I jogged after him as he stomped up the stairs and across the room.
"Owen, wait."
He didn't listen to me, instead opened the heavy door and walked outside. I groaned and shouted,
"I'll be back in a minute!"
before following him out.

I had lost Owen by the time I made it outside. I scanned the area and eventually saw him sitting by the harbour and made my way over.
When I reached him, he looked up at me and scoffed. I had to remind myself that it is unprofessional to throw a coworker into the water, so I swallowed my anger and sat down beside him on the cobbled stone harbour ledge, cold and damp.
"I think you'll like Erin."
"Well, I think I won't, and I'm usually right about my hunches."
He did the tight-lipped smile-that-wasn't-really-a-smile that he usually did when he was pissed off. I tried to not let his lashing out get to me.
"She punched a guy, y'know. It got her fired from a police force."
"Oh great, she has anger management issues too."
I couldn't help but let out a curt, exasperated laugh.
Owen could be so frustratingly stubborn, and was going to find any reason possible to dislike this girl. I stood up in silent surrender and started to walk back to the headquarters.
"Hold on."
Owen said and stood up, catching up to me.
We walked back in silence. I was just going to have to let him make his mind up himself: there was no point in trying to get him to see any other perspective, especially when he felt threatened.