[in progress] As hearts collide {chicklit}

Chapter four - a night in with Jim

The following Friday, the previously balmy weather had been replaced with much milder temperatures and the trees, normally vibrant and green were starting to turn golden. Autumn wasn't far away.

As we took a casual stroll home from school, Jim and I started to reminisce about times past.

"Do you remember the time we played knock down ginger on New Years Eve? We drove the neighbours nuts!" Jim joked, and I cackled at the memory.
"Yes! I still think Mrs Malloy hates me for ruining her roses!" I enthused, wiping the loosens tendrils of hair from my face. Jim's grin widened, and I wondered if he remembered how we'd hidden behind her rose bushes, hearts pounding.

When we reached our homes, Jim turned to face me with curiosity in his eyes. "Any plans for tonight?"
I shrugged. "No plans - I don't ever have plans anymore."
Jim's eyes softened. "Come over to my place. We'll dust off the old PlayStation, play Crazy Taxi like we used to, or maybe just watch a movie and eat lots of shitty food - what do you say?" His invitation hung in the air and I hesitated, torn. "If you don't want to..." he began, looking a little put out,
"no, it's not that... I'll be there. Thank you."
His face lit up, and my heart sank a little. "Whenever you're ready," he added, and I nodded, grateful for his invitation but nervous too. A night of nostalgia sounded perfect, if it wasn't for the fact that it reminded of what I no longer had.

That evening as I stood on Jim's doorstep, my knuckles rapping against the wood in anticipation at what this night would bring. When the door swung open, I half-expected to see Jim's familiar face, all lopsided grin and unruly hair. But instead, there was Megan, his not-so-little-sister. Five years younger than us, she'd once been the tagalong kid, the one who stumbled into our adventures with the grace of a baby elephant. Now, though, she stood before me, a beautiful tween with eyes that held secrets of their own.

"Hey, Meg! Long time no see," I greeted her, my voice too bright, too eager. She smiled sweetly, but there was a hint of cynicism in her eyes.
"You're hanging out with Jim again, huh?" she said matter-of-factly. Gone was the little girl who used to chase us through sprinklers and get stuck in trees. This Megan had an edge, a knowingness that made me feel inconsequential.

"I am," I replied, scanning the hallway for any sign of him. "Is he around?"
"Upstairs - Jim!" she hollered, her voice echoing through the house.

Megan widened the door to let me in and I stepped over the threshold, feeling the weight of memories settle around me.

"Hey! Come on up!" Jim's voice carried down from the top of the staircase and I looked up to see him grinning down at me. I glanced back at Megan, wanting to thank her, but she'd already vanished.

Climbing the stairs, I couldn't help but comment, "Wow, Meg has grown. I remember when she was following us around, desperate to play games with us."
Jim chuckled. "Yeah, she's twelve now, with the attitude of a teenager. We're in for it when puberty hits." His eyes crinkled with humour, and suddenly, I felt lighter. Jim had that effect on people, he made the world a little less daunting.

We reached his room and it was like stepping into a time capsule. The posters on the walls told stories: skateboarders defying gravity, rock bands frozen mid-strum, video game characters battling pixelated monsters. Jim's essence clung to every inch of the space, and I realised that some things never changed, even as the seasons shifted and the years went by.

"So, Crazy Taxi or movie night?" Jim asked, gesturing toward the ancient PlayStation console. I grinned, feeling the warmth of friendship wrap around me like a cozy blanket.
"Both," I replied.
"Ooh, good choice!" He chimed in, leaping onto his bed. He patted the space next to him and my heart leaped as I took my place.

We'd raced taxis, laughing until our sides hurt, before it was time to choose a movie.
"What are you feeling? Horror? Action? Comedy?" Jim's fingers danced over the titles as I flopped onto my stomach. "I don't mind. Whatever you fancy," I mumbled into the pillow. But my heart clenched when he pulled out a familiar case.
"Stand By Me?" He asked innocently, but the memories flooded back. Sam's favourite film, the one we'd watched huddled together on rainy afternoons. The tears threatened to rise up, and I choked them back, determined not to unravel.
"Oh shit, Em, I'm so sorry..." Jim's words trailed off. He knew. Sam had introduced us to that movie, and now it was a bittersweet echo of the past. I nodded, wiping my nose on my sleeve, desperate to hold back the tears brimming to the surface.
"We can watch something else?" Jim started searching for an alternative, but I shook my head. "No, it's okay. I'd like to watch it, if you don't mind." My smile was fragile.
He nodded, slipping the DVD into the player. We settled on the bed, side by side. Jim's arm found its way around my shoulders, a silent promise that I wasn't alone. He held me close, and I let myself lean into the warmth.
As the film played, I felt Sam's presence. His laughter, his quirks, the way he'd recite lines along with the characters. It was emotional, but it felt good, stitching together some of the edges of my heart. Memories swirled, and by the time the credits rolled, I was a mess of tangled emotions.
"Are you okay?" Jim's eyes bore into mine, searching for answers. I whispered, "I'm okay." But he wasn't convinced.
"Do you want to talk about it?" His concern was genuine, and I appreciated it. I bit my lip.
"You can't keep it bottled up, Em. It can't be good for you." His voice was gentle, urging me to open up.
"I don't want you to feel awkward," I confessed, rolling onto my side to meet his gaze.
"What do you mean?" Jim pressed, and I sighed. How could I explain? How could he understand the ache that had become my constant companion?
"Is that what the others did?"
I nodded, my eyes tracing patterns on the bedspread. Friends who drifted away, unable to navigate the storm within me.
"Will you tell me what happened?" He pressed further, and I knew I needed to share the reason.