[in progress] As hearts collide {chicklit}

Chapter eleven - the pact

It had been three weeks. Three weeks of ignoring Alex and desperately trying to get Jim to talk to me. Every text remained unread, every call went straight to voicemail - it was if he'd turned his phone off that night and hadn't turned it back on again. I'd knocked at his house, but Meg just turned me away, her expression belied the knowledge that she'd expected me to ruin everything. The betrayal against my best friend burned deep, my head a constant thunder of stress headaches and the deep circles under my eyes a telltale sign of the unrelenting lack of sleep.

Alex had tried to get in touch, sending a litany of texts and calls, and even calling the house phone, but I told mum I wouldn't talk to him. She knew fragments of that night from snippets I'd begrudgingly unfolded, but I kept conversations minimal. I couldn't really talk to anyone about it properly until Jim spoke to me again.

On Saturday, after much cajoling from Mum, I'd agreed to venture into the garden to de-weed and mow the lawn, whilst she was at work. The temperamental British summer was well and truly underway, making the need to prune our neglected backyard a necessity.

I donned my biggest sunglasses and pulled on a pair of well-worn yoga pants and a t-shirt. It was a Weezer one, handed down to me by Sam when he'd outgrown it. It was threadbare but comfortable, and I cherished it dearly. Parking myself near the shade of the old oak tree, I got to work pulling up dandelions and placing them in a pile beside me. Lost in my own thoughts, I didn't hear Jim approach from the other side of the fence, so I was startled when he simply said "hey."
"Hey you," I replied, an eager smile stretched across my features.
He nodded to the task before me. "Can I help?"
"Sure." I scooted across and watched as he squeezed his frame through the gap in the fence. Settling down beside me, we worked together in silence.
When we cleared the space, I went to move across to the next section but Jim reached out to stop me.
"I'm really sorry about what happened at the party."
"J, you have nothing to be sorry for. I'm sorry you had to see it."
He exhaled deeply. "Do you like him?"
I removed my sunglasses to see him clearer. He looked tired, the shadows under his eyes making his skin look paler than usual. Jim's face was always so bright, like a personification of the happy sun depicted by countless kids in their drawings. This Jim was withdrawn and sad. It broke my heart to think I'd caused it.
"He's my friend, of course I like him."
Jim rolled his eyes and sighed. "You know what I mean, Em... do you fancy him?"

I looked down at my hands, trying to rub off some of the soil, but nerves had made them start to sweat, causing it to sink into my pores.
"It doesn't matter. The only thing I've cared about is trying to speak to you..."
Jim swept the hair out of his eyes and squinted towards the midday sun. The light bounced off his face and he looked so beautiful. Even pale and sleep deprived, I noticed that Jim was still achingly attractive. The fluttering in my stomach came through thick and fast and I wondered if it was the nerves, or the boy sat next to me.
"This-" he says, gesturing between the two of us, "is for life. I will always be there for you."

Tears rolled down my cheeks as I took in his words.
"After everything, you're still being nice to me? I don't deserve it, Jim," I blubbered, the tears spilling faster than I could wipe away.
"What are you talking about? You deserve the world! You're literally the best person ever... you have no idea just how incredible you are."

I pulled him in for a hug, resting my head against his shoulder. In our nearness, my heart swelled, recognising just how much I'd missed being around him, talking to him and having his arm wrapped around my shoulder. He was a constant source of light, having spent the last two years fixing what I thought was broken.
"I've missed you so bloody much!" I sobbed, tightening my grip around him.
"I've missed you too... more than anything."

We stayed in the same position until my tears had dried and our legs had started to numb.
"Shall we fuck this off and go and watch something instead?" I asked, reluctantly releasing myself from his embrace.
"Finally! I thought you'd never ask!" Jim joked, rising from the floor. He extended his hand and I accepted, letting him hoist me up.